The dementia/memory care we have dad in (4th place), seems to need instructions on properly doing a check-in at night. We have a camera (they know) and each time, they would make sure they waved at the camera, and let the door slam. One time the other day they turned on the light and left. We finally told them to stop waving and just do their job. I even requested a new person.

The new person, barely peeks in, then closes the door, then an hour later, finally walks in the door, goes up to my dad to his ear, I'm just making sure you're ok, oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you!

ARRGHHHHH, is there a lesson plan on how to do a check in?

The COO, CIO, you name it knows about these problems, promised to fix it. Not yet.

We're moving him out but still looking.

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Wow! For someone to wave at the camera and then slam the door, turn on a light or speak into the resident's ear and/or otherwise waking him during the night and the senior management either unwilling or unable to correct this behavior.... you must have really pissed off the entire staff of this facility! And apparently 3 other facilities before this one.

I agree you need to move your father to another facility. I strongly recommend you take a deep breath and consider your own actions toward the staff. Please don't take your stress and frustrations about your father's condition out on the staff. You want to make the staff your friends. When you need to address an issue with a hands on worker, please be kind and respectful. If there are training issues, please address that with their supervisors and managers. When there is a problem with Dad's care that must be addressed, please make every attempt to be a team player (What can WE do about this?, What are OUR options?) Please realize that when an elderly person has multiple health issues it can often be difficult to find a "perfect" solution; often we must balance what is good for one condition with something that is not so good for another condition.

Please understand I am not in any way saying that there have not been problems at the MCs that have needed addressing. I'm only saying that it appears to me (based on this one posting) you may have been too angry and confrontational in your tone when addressing these issues and have gotten a poorer result instead of a better one for your efforts. Your comment on needing instructions for a nightly check-in could be taken as very demeaning. When you place your LO in a facility, you need to turn their care over to the staff. It doesn't matter if the staff does something differently than you would, what matters is the method used has a good result.
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