Can a POA tell Hospice not to talk to a relative? -

Can a POA tell Hospice not to talk to a relative?


My sister's husband has POA (complicated story). I spend a lot of time with Mom and have been her primary caretaker for a looong time. She is now in a NH. My sister has forbade me to talk to hospice of her doctor (because doing so validates that I know more than she does about my mom's medical needs).

Does a POA have authority to tell hospice not to talk to me about my mom's health needs/next steps?

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I'm glad that everything is going with the flow. No hiccups (or dissension) among you all. Yeah, all you can do is just take what each day brings with your mom. Hugs to you all.
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Well, the good news (thank GOD) is that my sister and her husband showed up as hospice called them to discuss next steps for Mom - morphine. She and her family walked in while I was sitting next to Mom's bedside and my sister told me what they are going to do.. and I am happy that they want mom to be comfortable and comforted during this time.

Mom looks so beautiful of late - always smiling and so cute.

We don't know a time line but that this is the next step to make mom comfortable with eating and breathing.....

Every step of caring for her the last 7 years has been different and wrought with different issues. Now it is all about making her the most comfortable, minimizing pain and anxiety. I feel so blessed to have had this experience with her... I am better for serving and loving her... and I am thankful.
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I certainly can relate to your situation because mine is similar. I am the family caregiver who lives in town and my sister has POA even though she lives hundreds of miles away.

My Dad is in a skilled nursing facility. She has forbade me from speaking with anyone about his healthcare. In our situation, however, my sister is getting very close to overstepping her boundaries. My Dad recently asked me if he could be his own POA.
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Thanks for your response. I am disgusted with my older sister and her husband. They have provided the least amount of care to my Mom... and if my Mom were not suffering from dementia, I know she'd be devastated by their continued neglect. For example: mom needs eye medication every night as a result of cataract surgery. NH notified my sister that she needed more medication and it took more than 2 weeks before she responded.

That is ONE example of NUMEROUS examples.

Should my narcissist sister choose to ban me from the NH, I have a clear conscience as to how I have served my mom... one of 5 children who see her almost daily while other siblings have almost abandoned ship (they simply don't want to be inconvenienced). It causes ache to me, knowing that mom is clearly declining yet my siblings still don't come around much at all....
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Yes. It's called the HIPAA Law - medical privacy guaranteed by the Federal govt. I don't know if you have noticed it, but the clinics, hospital, dentists - all are now so very careful following this. If you have no medical authorization, they must not discuss anything medical of their patient to you - whether it's your father, mother, sister ...even spouse.

Here on island, a man went to the dialysis center. Something was wrong and they called 911. When he got to the ER, he asked them to call his wife. No one did. He said if they can give him the phone, he will call her. No one did....On another incident. A man got into the ER (forgot accident or beaten up?). His family found out by other people (witnesses) that their son was there. They tried to visit him in the ER. ER refused to admit that they have there. Hours later, he died. ONLY then did the ER bring the family in. That poor man died all by himself in ER while his family tried to gain entrance to see him.

I have read over and over on this site, of a sibling who sneakily got POA from the caregiver. Once they got it, they used their POA to stop the cg from even visiting their parent in the NH. When the parent(s) died, no one notified the cg. HIPAA Law.

My advice - do not rock the boat. Sis might get angry enough to forbid you from seeing your mom. But you also have your conscience to deal with. Just know the consequences of talking with or not talking. Sorry you have to go through this. Especially with your mom in critical condition. Take care.
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