What to do when a POA no longer wants responsibility of caring for an elderly parent? - AgingCare.com

What to do when a POA no longer wants responsibility of caring for an elderly parent?

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My uncle passed away and now his wife no longer wants to be poa for my 100 yr old grandmother. What forms do we need signed so I can take over the responsibility?

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Talk to an elder atty.
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Thank you
Good luck
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You definitely need someone you can trust with a backup. My husband and I have a living will, POA, and legal papers with backups in case someone can't.
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Question: when you say you don't want your kids to go through his, what plans are you making for that?
I ask because I do not have kids to take care of me and I'm not sure who should be my guarantor/ POA
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Well the funeral is over and not a word mentioned about gram. I didn't bring it up out of respect for my uncles wife who needed to grieve and she didn't either. Since I have left messages and gotten no return phone call. I ask the nursing home how much is owed and they told me the account is paid up! They just would rather be benefit payee, which I don't like because I want to move gram closer. So I've contacted an attorney and going to ask the attorney to write a strong letter to my aunt asking for a copy of the POA and grams Medicare card so we can see what we have to do. I still may have to file for guardianship if there is no other way to have the POA transferred but won't know that until I get a copy of the POA. Nursing home doesn't want to help at all so that was dead end. In the meantime I've made sure gram has everything she needs and am saving the receipts. I have called the nursing home on a few things concerning grams care and advised them I may not be her POA but I can make a complaint to the state if things don't get done. Seems when a patient doesn't have family visiting nurses aids get lazy. I appreciate all your comments and I'm making sure my kids don't have to go through this ever!
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Kat - it sounds like you have a plan. It also sounds like grannies current NH is good and wants to work with you. Consider yourself lucky as since you don't have any legal standing for gran, the NH could be totally "we cannot speak with you...HIPPA requires....yada yada".....

I'd see if the business office can provide you with a print out on grans account for this year AND if they have a copy of the states Medicaid co- pay. It could be called a Determination of Need letter. For my mom, she got 1 in January and then in June. Also you want to find out what the status is on Grans PNA ( personal needs trust) @ the NH.

Do you understand how all this is determined? If not, this is how it ran for my mom: mom got $ 900 in SS and 1K in retirement each month. She was mid 90's too & her income was really high for that age group. For both, an awards letter was sent out in Dec that states the amount of income to be paid for the next year. The awards letter is what state Medicaid program uses as the fixed # that their required copay will be based on. Now $ can be taken out for Medicare from the SS check & this right now is about $ 105 a mo. So for my mom, her co pay was $ 1800 but from the copay the state allows them a PNA. Personal Needs Allowance. PNA varies by state $ 35 - $ 105 a month. My mom was in TX which has theirs at $ 60. So every month, moms required by Medicaid co-pay/SOC to the NH was $ 1,740.00. ($1800 -$60).

The PNA does NOT need to be paid to or held by the NH. Most NH will press upon family to do this but they cannot require it. For my mom, her income was direct deposited to her account and I wrote a ck for $ 1740. Her bank account grew by $ 60 each month. Now I did have a PNA for her at the NH that $ was put into as needed. The PNA tends to be used to pay for beauty salon or extras they can buy if the NH has a canteen (my moms did and she would buy candy). Some NH charge a fee for cable or phone and the fee is amazingly the exact amount of the PNA.

It seems odd that only some of Grans $ is bring paid to the NH. Perhaps Auntie is holding the PNA $ back. Or has the wrong PNA $ amount. Or wants the NH to use any PNA $ built up to zero out before paying from current checks? Once you see the billing info, it should shed some light onto what is happening.

Personally I would avoid like the plague doing a representative payee. SSA will require all sorts of documentation to show intent which you don't have. Your not the existing DPOA. The old not-done-by-an-atty DPOA probably will look sketchy to SSA. If SSA find out there is a gap on compliance with Medicaid, they will probably suspend SS ck and open an investigation. perhaps contact APS as well. I'd bet SSA will take 3-4 mos to work this through too. All the while NH not getting paid. Plus representative payee has required reporting of where funds went with documentation which have to be done or ck is suspended. RP makes sense for those handling funds of children or the profoundly disabled but for a elderly in a NH in which almost all their $ has to be paid to the NH, it seems a total unnecessary to me. SSA seems to me to overreach to create situations that makes work for SSA staff.

let us know what happens too.
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Pro bono attorney! Good idea! How does that get started?? Also, is there a chance the old uncle was keeping part of that social security check for himself and his wife and just not paying the nursing home for all of it? How does one find out who is the representative payee for an individual, is this public record?
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I think your current goal would be for you to be able to be her representative payee for social security, and to be able to make medical decisions for her, and including where she lives. With her dementia, I am not seeing a frugal way to do that because I don't know how to get a G/C without a lawyer. If anyone knows how I would like to hear about it. There could be a successor listed in the original POA document. A person with POA (the aunt) can't designate the next
POA (you) unless that idea was in the original POA document so that won't work. Funerals are good for finding family information one did not know, maybe that will yield some possible pathways for a solution.
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Cat, would aunt get the relocation done? Or, there is an emergency process, if you want to move grandma. Maybe the place you are considering would be able to help with that. Just guessing.
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Thank you everyone. No she didn't live with them at all and was in assisted living until 4 years ago. I'm all for doing things the easy way and keeping the aunt on my side is my thoughts on how to get this done quickly. It isn't to the point of eviction yet and nursing home told me that only a part of her social security has been going to them when all of it should have been. I am hoping auntie doesn't want to open the big can of worms she is about to open and just helps me get her moved, assign the new nursing home as beneficiary payee so I don't have to worry about it. I understand auntie dealing with my uncles illness but she should have reached out to someone much sooner and NEVER let grandma do without. At some point Medicaid is going to ask auntie where all the funds went and she will have to deal with that!
I so appreciate all the input and this has helped me wrap my head around this mess!
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