So grandma only thinks her fore and index fingers need to be covered by TP while wiping. She will fold the TP in a quarter of it's original size. Of course, only one square is used. The rest of her fingers end up being covered in poop. Also she needs to pull it out and inspect it before putting it back down in the commode getting both hands covered in poop. I have repeatedly tried teaching her to use more to cover her entire hand. When I'm there with her, she will do just that. When I am not, she will not.
That's just the first part. Cleaning her hand afterwards is a nightmare. She denies that there is any poop on her hand. If I give her a wet wipe. She will just rub her palms with it and deem them clean. The problem is at the finger tips and especially under her nails. Of course, I keep her nails as short as possible. If I try to wipe her hands for her. She will push at me with her poophands. I can't wipe and keep her poophands off of me at the same time. I only have two hands. Thus I end up poop covered.
She is physically capable of going to the bathroom and washing her own hands. She is physically capable of going to the bathroom to use the toilet. She just refuses. The commode started when she fell and injured herself. Now if I take the commode away she'll simply go in the trashcan instead of going to the toilet. So the commode it is.
I don't have much hope, but does anyone have any suggestions of what can be done?