Perhaps I am experiencing something that not many have. I only want to hear from the long haulers. Advice?

When I visited my 103 year old Aunt in Memory Care, she claimed that she owned the the entire facility, and was wealthy. Not true. After continually searching for her money, her son finally caved in and gave her some play money. This satisfied her. She loved showing off a small purse full of cash.

I’d look at the medications she’s taking. Synemet can cause those symptoms after long term use. Also Med used to treat those symptoms can exacerbate the problems. What I’ve experienced being my husband’s primary care giver is how sensitive my husband has become to all medications. 1/4 synemet can throw him into anxiety, paranoia, and psychosis. I’d start there. Less is better. I ended finding hydroxazine a first generation antihistamine works for my husband’s anxiety, sleeplessness and psychosis. He only takes 3 meds and hydroxazine.

Think carefully whether you can endure for the long haul. It only gets worse, so if you are just now starting to feel the effect, best to look at an alternative plan. My mom has been under my care for 2 years but it feels like 20 years. Some days are ok; other days, I want to scream. This is a season that eventually will end.

I will say one thing to you and one thing only: I will NEVER miss the days of listening to my mother ask to see her dead siblings and parents, or the endless phone calls asking what time she's supposed to be over my house to watch "the babies" who don't exist, or the tirades about whose stolen her old bras or her snacks or whatever. I will NEVER miss the bad days, the days where she insists she has to go home but has no idea where home is. The days where she's crying in pain from neuropathy that she can't be medicated for because medication causes even MORE falls and worse dementia and ranting. I will NEVER miss the mean and horrible things she says to me that cut to the bone, either. Or the same questions I answer 100x just to be asked again 10 minutes later. It's exhausting for me and it's exhausting AND terrifying for her. To know shes confused, how terrible must THAT be?

There is no "reward in heaven" worth the price everyone pays for advanced dementia here on earth, that's for sure.

I will consider it a blessing when my 94 year old mother passes and thank God her suffering is over. I wouldn't wish dementia on my worst enemy.

yes it is exhausting and will be because that is what happens with dementia....they go thru many stages, not much you can do but agree with them (don't bother arguing because you will NOT win). you can try to change the subject but that doesn't always work. find something that she liked to do, watch a movie, look at pictures, get out coloring books, etc. you either just keep answering the same way or find another caregiver to give you a break. wishing you luck.