Parents want to move with me as I return to the city from a farm. I tell them that I'm moving alone. I'm being cast as the villain. Advice?

NO, it is not wrong. Your wishes are healthy. You don't need anyone's permission or approval to do this. If they don't like your choices -whatever. You don't like their choices!

Possibly none of your family do care about you. Dysfunctional/toxic families are like that. It is what it is. I'm glad you have a supportive friend. Get more of those!

Build your own life largely separate from theirs. You are not obliged to care for them. If you want to help them, point them to resources or whatever you feel you can do without harming yourself.

Regarding boundaries, other people will not necessarily respect them. That's not why you set them. Boundaries are for you - to protect yourself. Sometimes other people will change their behaviour in response to boundaries, and sometimes they won't. Stick to them anyway. You can expect toxic people to continue to push your boundaries. My only solution has been to distance myself until I felt safe. That means physical distance some times, not taking phone calls, limiting visits etc. It also can mean going no contact.

Let us know how things are going. There is lots of support here. ((((((hugs))))))

Another Canadian here.

You need to protect your own health, physical and mental.

Here in BC there is a program called Better at Home, it offers a variety of services to help people live as long as possible in their own home. It is very popular in rural communities where care facilities are a great distance away. Is there a similar program in your province? Income based sliding scale for the fees.

It is perfectly fair for you to tell Mum and Dad they are not moving with you and you have no intention of sharing a home with them. You can offer to find community based services for them, if they refuse to use them that is not your problem.

It sounds like your brother has his boundaries in place.

You do your plan. Having a house where you live together is not what you want so DO NOT do it! If your parents, on their own, want to move back to the city, then they are free to make their own plans and do so. That's on them to do, if that's what they really want.

Your brother is also free to do as he wishes. Don't waste your time being upset with him not helping. So very common and he doesn't have to help if he doesn't want to. Your parents are not his responsibility. Or yours. You can help, advise, etc. as much or as little as you want to. Totally up to you.

If they are already trying to emotionally manipulate you, just imagine if they were any closer to you. As others have said, find boundaries that you can live with and go on with your life. If they were less obnoxious and toxic, perhaps you would feel better about it. But there behavior and lifestyle have put them and you here, so that’s that.

BreakingFree: Your user name speaks volumes. You absolutely are making the correct decision.

I think you need to break free. You deserve to live a happy life. You deserve not to be tied down for the rest of your life. Make a life for yourself and be happy.

Please don’t feel burden. I feel u should do u in this case. Ur parents have one another to lean on for support. If they want to continue living how they live that’s on them. I think with u having ur own issues at hand u should go on live ur life like ur brother. I hope ur brother have a hood relationship with ur parents. If he can’t be there prayerfully he can contribute and help them in other ways. I would never say give up on ur parents. Always check in on them encourage them and when necessary or able be there. Having a listening ear. It’s ok don’t feel quilt. It sounds like Ur alone so take care of u. U can visit sometimes. I believe in u . Take care of yourself and ur health.