My grandma is living w dementia, and she has some level of paranoia. That we use her money & write checks in her name. Her bank statements will obviously show otherwise. She doesn’t express this to us though. She goes and says this to her other daughter, and I feel like she enables these kinds of feelings. and the only way we’ve found out is through outbursts between my mom and her sister (the other daughter). She wants to remain in control and is untrusting of us but will later deny that she said anything to us. Should we just laugh it off? How do we learn to remain cool & not get defensive?
I feel like us getting defensive almost gives it validation and we forget it’s her dementia. Her other daughter used to doubt the fact whether or not my grandma even had dementia. I think she enables those feelings because she doesn’t know it’s a symptom of dementia and/or doesn’t believe she actually has it. we want to be able to brush it off and to basically reassure ourselves that it’s her dementia. If and when accusations arise again how can we address them and identify them as a symptom of her dementia. Also her need to have control over the household that she can no longer run. How can we make her feel like she has some say or some control? She’s a bit of a narcissistic person even since before her dementia diagnosis. Nothing can ever be completely smooth sailing but how can we aim for that?
thank you to anyone that responds
you have no idea how good it feels to be heard & validated