Please forgive me. It's 4am as I write this right now. I've only had 2.5hrs of sleep. I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do or how to handle this.
I am 26, my mother will be 54 this month. She has some form of dementia, it could be FTL or Lewy Body. She fits some of the symptopms for both, but not all, so she's in a grey area right now and will do testing and see a neuro again in a few months. Because of there being a high chance of it being Lewy body we can't risk putting her on anti-psychotics.
She's not allowed to cook, I keep the stove's burners in my room when I'm not cooking with them and the oven is locked from her controls as well. That's not even a part of tonight's issue, but it needed mentioned.
She's very paranoid at night. To the point I was questioning my own sanity. I've had a camera put in to face the front door, kitchen opening, and living room window. I've explained and showed her how the alert system works so I know if any stranger has been in the house. This was due to her calling the patrol security and telling them someone was in our house whenever I left to visit my dad in a town three-hrs away.
Then she started doing it even when I was home.
I tell her every night before she goes to sleep to come and get me whenever she thinks she hears something. I sleep with the house phone in my room so she can't make calls without asking me first (due to her calling every number she sees on tv, or medical insurance companies over and over again, this change has only been within the past month).
I allow her to have a broken cell phone that's only function is a clock and emergency calls due to it keeps her in a manageable mood.
I thought since I took the house phone away, she would come to me if she was being paranoid so she could use it. Tonight, for the second time in a month (but the first time without the house phone) I woke up to police talking to her in my house, and leaving five-seconds because they didn't find anything. Imagine hearing a man's voice when no men live with you, at three in the f**cking morning.
I was so mad after he left, I yelled at her until I cried (I normally try to keep a level head and understand it's her paranoia), and she never batted an eye. She said she smelt someone cooking toast in the kitchen and wanted the police to get him, but they ran away as the cops pulled up. She even had me touch the oven (it was cold I had cooked fries earlier in the night), but she thought it was warm.
I took the cell phone from her, only after promising to give it back in the morning, otherwise I could sense she would fight me for it. I don't know what to do. Do I keep it, give it back? She'll act out if I don't give it back.
To be completely transparent, I live in a state where weed is legal, and I do smoke it only at night to help me sleep and keep my insomnia at bay. I never smoke it in same room as her and I use filters for the smoke), I've never let her had any, and I always wait until she's in her room for the night. I can't make her sleep, but at least I was able to keep her in her room. If she hadn't had the cell phone this wouldn't have happened, but I once again put too much trust in her that she would come get me first.
When I asked why she hadn't she said she didn't want to wake me.....
Anyway, even though it's legal, I don't want cops walking through my house when I know everything is fine.
I'm suppose to go the 19th with my step-sister to visit our parents in the town three hours away, since it's a long drive it makes sense for us to spend the night due to not having much time with them. I would be back around 12pm on the 20th. I used to feel comfortable leaving her here for one night. But with her call the patrol and now police more often, I don't know what to do. I haven't seen my parents in over a month and I'm crying right now because I may not get to see them.
I'm going to ask her sister (who won't do anything in the way of care for her. I have to beg for her to take her for three hours to go see their sister who also has dementia. Otherwise she'll go without taking my mother.) if she can spend the night that day.
My only other option is our neighbor, but she has her cousin living with her at the moment and he creeps me out, he's always trying to hit on my mother.
We're currently fighting with Mediciaid to get her back on it. They switched her over to Medicare/Atena and are jumping through government tape. She doesn't make enough from SSDI to afford AL on her own, nor can I afford it right now either.
Do I not sleep normal hours? Stay up until the sun is out when she starts to act normal again?
There's no reasoning with her. The men who come in the house can go undetected by the camera and leave the only open exit right in front of police. They want to steal items like blankets and used makeup but not the flat-screen in the living room. I can't take this stress anymore.