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When last you heard from me, the issue was my mother.


Now it is my husband whom I love very much. It has become so difficult to communicate. His hearing, memory, comprehension and speech have all slowed to a crawl. Oddly, the slow comprehension, processing and speech seem to run in his family as they age. We spoke with his older sister the other day and she was really bad--alarming so--she sounded completely out of it. So, my husband comes by this honestly. Still...


For me, this means that I repeat myself all day long. Conversations have become primitive. Nothing complicated can be said. This has been going on or a long time, and I do practice acceptance. I have accepted and adjusted to each new phase. But the problem is that it just gets harder and harder. I find myself becoming snappish, which I find intolerable. I find myself becoming resentful, which is unacceptable.


At what point is it ok to just throw in the towel on communication? And can that even be done?


How do other people stay upbeat in this situation?

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Thank you for these answers. Just knowing that someone understands this, that i am not going crazy is a big help.

My mom, who is 91, has no memory but understands everything is very quick to get ideas and responds quickly. So this situation with my husband is all new.

We are all so different and age to differently.

Again, thanks. Tonight I thought I would lose it if I didn't get some clarity.

I am going to keep striving for no snapping, no resentment. Not sure how the means to that end will shape up--maybe with new strategies and , as a good friend says, "lower the bar."
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Salisbury, sometimes my sig other doesn't pay attention to what I say, and here he doesn't have dementia.   He's been like that for years.   I find it frustrating and I tend to snap like a big old turtle.   How I hated to keep repeating myself. 

My late Mom had started to lose her hearing, so her final few years there wasn't much on the way of conversations.  And I am not one to YELL so someone could hear me.   It was heartbreaking.   Yes, repeating my self, but trying to use different words each time hoping Mom would catch one word clearly.  If she did, she would talk about that subject.

I am not one to call up friends/relatives to chat, it's just not me.   So I am happy I am still employed, and my boss enjoys talking... a lot.

Lack of communication can make it feel like you are living alone :(
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i'm afraid i cannot imagine this happening to a mate, but I ended up feeling quite alone when it happened to my mom.
answering in one word, trying to find the shortest most precise answer.
exhausting.
I would gave up talking to her for the same reasons you gave, and i became snippy and she was snippy back... I ended up having a beer to calm myself... it just all stunk :(
Now shes in a home, I cannot talk to her because she hears jibberish and she speaks jibberish. upbeat? well, I used to sing and put on a cd of hers... its all i could do to take away the loneliness of no communication
((((HUG)))))
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