I first wanted to thank all of you for taking the time to read my post. While I know that ultimately to stay in my current position or leave is solely up to me, I struggle with the guilt/sadness/loss of leaving.
I have been dating my current boyfriend for 2.5 years. I was 25 when I met and am now 28. He was 27 and now 30. When I met him, his grandmother was still in need of help/care but was mostly independent. During the course of the first year we were dating she was in and out of the hospital a few times where she would then go to rehab for COPD flare ups.
During the first year of relationship, we were her primary care takers. Helping her with cleaning, food shopping, cooking, laundry, doctors appointments, e.t.c. All of this was hard, but manageable. She then fell and broke her rib, shoulder and hip where she was in the hospital/rehab for essentially 10 months. She was only home for a couple of weeks at a time and then go back. After this happened she hired around the clock care upon returning home for good but has quickly depleted her assets. She still has care come in while my boyfriend is at work during the day and then a few nights during the week.
The concern is that we are almost at the point where we are unable to leave the house to do much of anything. She is almost completely bed bound. She is able to get herself on the commode and sometimes to the table to eat dinner. Other than that, she lays in bed all day and night. I run all the errands for them while he stays home. If he tries to come with me, there is guilt associated and he stays home. If I try to leave their home because I do not want to be stuck in the house, I am guilted that I am leaving. If I do not come over that night, I get text messages/phone calls asking why I am not coming over.
We are unable to start our life and our future together because of this. There is no one in his family that can help either as she has an estranged relationship with most of them. She also refuses to go to an assisted living and wants to stay home, which is her respected choice.
My concern is that I am sacrificing my entire life to be in this relationship and while I do love him very much, the price to pay to stay in this relationship is very high. She will vocalize that she is concerned that I am going to leave him because of this and I know that it is getting so bad and to the point that he is worried as well. We are both at the age where all of our friends are getting engaged/ married/ buying houses and starting their own family. We are the only ones who do not have this.
Another concern is that we are not engaged or married and the responsibility that I have taken on does not match the level of severity of our relationship. At the end of the day, I am his girlfriend who stays still lives at home with her parents, but also a care taker to his grandmother while sacrificing my entire life for her and him.
My question is, what would you do? Would you stick this out seeing the light at the end of the tunnel or would you choose you and leave? I am the point where I do not want to do this anymore.
Thank you again for taking the time to read and to respond to this. I hope you have a great week!