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My mother, 76, was recently hospitalized due to a fall and other complications. She lives with me, her son, and her health has deteriorated over the past few months.


She’s had 2 hospitalizations recently. She has dementia, COPD, 2 fractured shoulders, fractures in her back, etc. She will require 24 hour care and there is no one at home to care for her — it's only me — but she won't be able to stay alone while I'm at work. I travel out of town for work and am sometimes gone for 2-3 days.


I'm pretty sure they are going to discharge her in the next few days. She is not safe here alone in her condition. I have heard of emergency placement in a nursing home from the hospital.


My question is, who do I need to talk to first about that? What should I say? Should I just refuse to let them send her home?

Hospital social worker. Say it is an unsafe discharge and no one at home to care for her 24/7 and she can only be discharged to a facility. There's a ton of posts on this website with similar situations to read.
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Reply to ConstanceS
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Barn, welcome to the Forum.

Get in touch with the discharge planning unit asap. Hopefully, your mom can be sent to rehab, covered by by Medicare for a week or so which will give you some to look around for a long term care facility.

Use the words "unsafe discharge" if anyone tells you they want to send her home. You are not available to provide her the car she needs
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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The hospital has a discharge planner who is responsible for ensuring that the patient has a safe place to go and help make arrangements. Call and ask to speak with her or him and explain exactly what you said above. Emphasize that you will not be able to take care of her in your home, even with extra help, because of the need to travel for your job.
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Reply to MG8522
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Yes, refuse the discharge. Speak to the hospital social worker about your concerns for your mom's safety. Don't tell them that maybe she can be brought home. Don't give in. Your mom needs to be placed in a skilled nursing facility. She should qualify for hospice care. Not sure if your mom is on Medicare. Everyone has to be on the same page. You will see different workers telling you they are getting ready to come up with a discharge plan. Be strong! It's going to get stressful at times.
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Reply to Onlychild2024
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Sorry about this situation for your mother and you.

Unsafe Discharge rinse and repeat. Continue to work with the social worker. Does the facility your mother was doing rehab a few months ago also have a long term care unit? If so, contact that social worker to see about the transition to LTC.

Can she go to a rehab that has a nursing home component for another 21 days on Medicare and then transition to the NH part? Can she pay out of pocket for a couple months to spend down her assets and then apply for Mediciad long term care.

You also need an elder care attorney or a great person willing to help you navigate through the Mediciad long term care process. Are you POA? If not then you should obtain one immediately. AND, do not sign anything without being a POA.
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Reply to AMZebbC
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Yes, you absolutely need to refuse to let them send her home! Meet with the case manager/discharge planner and social worker at the hospital and make sure they know she would not be safe at home. I was in the exact situation you are in. The case manager will contact various nursing homes for an open bed. If they can't find one that will take her, they must hold her in the hospital until they do find one. They will find one eventually. Once they do, be very careful about how you sign the admission paperwork. Don't sign that you will be personally financially responsible.
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Reply to mstrbill
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Get her into rehab and start the process of finding her placement. Do not allow them to send her home, do not sign anything making you financially responsible. If she has no assets they can hardly make her pay. The hospital will be motivated to get her into a Medicaid facility to free up the bed. Stick to your guns. She cannot be released home. Do not answer the door if they send her without your consent in a medical transport.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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JanPeck123 May 1, 2025
ShirleyDot,
Have you knowledge of anyone that was sent home on a medical transport without the family's consent? That would be a horribly outrageous thing to do.
(2)
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Heads up for all caregivers and those being cared for. Look up rehab and skilled nursing facilities now before an emergency happens. I have rehab places picked out, but I am remiss about skilled nursing facilities. I will get on it Monday.
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Reply to MaryKathleen
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Isthisrealyreal May 2, 2025
Good to see you Mary!!!
(3)
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Speak with her case manager On her floor and ask for a social worker and Tell Them " I Can not care for her she will need to be Placed . " Usually the social worker or case manager will recommend Places for her to go and you call and can visit them . They will find her a bed . I had to find the NH for My Mother - called 10 Places and found a good Place on Cape Cod. Then with My brother they gave me the names of Places and he was Placed in a Carribean NH which was a Fantastic Place . Nice Nurses, goodFood , wonderful social worker and he had a View of the forest . They will help you .
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Reply to KNance72
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Don’t accept her back at your home, If she has been in the hospital for three days or more she should qualify for rehab at a nursing home which will be covered by Medicare for a short period. Get with the hospital rep for a list of places she could go. If she might need Medicaid assistance in the future, try to make sure they accept Medicaid when her funds run out. Rehab will buy you time. Hopefully you can just transition her from rehab to permanent resident. Research the facilities and visit to try to get the best care you can. Look for ratings on Medicare.gov but don’t just rely on ratings because other factors like proximity for you to oversee care and cost are equally important. Try to go direct from the hospital to a facility you are happy with. If you change your mind, you have the rehab time (paid by Medicare) to look for another facility.
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Reply to jemfleming
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