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It came to a head when he and his wife were at a store and he couldn't remember why he was there or the name for the item he wanted to buy. He has major PTSD, has had a non-cancerous tumor removed from the outside of his brain several years ago and is checked every year to make sure it hasn't come back (so far so good), He's on a lot of meds for the PTSD. PTSD is really major. Doesn't sleep, can't deal with shopping unless someone is with him to make sure someone doesn't come up from behind him and startle him.... He's also been having meltdowns (pouts, won't eat just about every night. He's under a lot of doctor's care and wife now goes with him on the visits due to him not able to remember why he's there. All this is through the VA. I live a two day drive away so can't be much help but I worry for him, his marriage (this is taking a tole on her) and of course for him. I guess what I'm wondering if anyone else has gone through this with loved ones at such a young age? He is going in soon to be seen and maybe find out if it's all the meds he's on, the lack of sleep he has from the PTSD or what may be causing it. If they decided to take him off all his meds (not sure what all he's on but it's a lot) will he need to be put in the hospital while they do this? Insights please...

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PTSD is directly related to your son's memory loss:

Can PTSD cause memory problems?
But one of the most pervasive symptoms of PTSD is not directly related to emotions at all: individuals suffering from a stress-related disorder experience cognitive difficulties ranging from memory loss to an impaired ability to learn new things.

If you Google it, a ton of info will come up explaining how PTSD relates to memory loss.

I don't think people realize the scope or the magnitude of PTSD and how it affects every aspect of the sufferer's life. Please do not suggest your son discontinue any of his prescribed medications. Lack of sleep ALONE can and does contribute to tons of memory issues, never mind all the rest of what he's going through.

I had a case of PTSD in 2000 resulting from an emotional trauma, which, I'm sure, was nothing by comparison to what your son is going through. I will tell you this: it was THE most awful emotional/mental and physical experience of my life and affected me in ways that was mind-boggling. I finally went to the doctor and was prescribed an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant which helped me a lot; I was finally able to sleep and the startle reflex calmed down so I was able to stop wearing earplugs in the house, just to function day-to-day.

Wishing your son and your family the best of luck with a difficult situation. Sending you a hug and a prayer for a good resolution.
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Maybe an odd suggestion, but an older, experienced hypnotherapist might be able to help him as well.
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Think it would be great help to DIL if
you could be more hands on …
she’s probably very exhausted doing all the care … you could offer stay with your son and give her regular respite or pay for some help !
she's probably not telling you how hard it really is !!!
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Does he use drugs or alcohol?
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As a Coastie, he is eligible for VA care, isn't he?
Especially if the PTSD is related to events that occurred during his service years, the VA is responsible for helping him...and the VA has lots of resources and expertise in this area.

Get him enrolled in VA system if he is not already there.
Be sure he has signed a document to allow his wife to talk to all health care providers - a waiver of his HIPAA rights to allow his wife to receive the HIPAA protected information.
The information will be too overwhelming and frightening for him, so he won't really hear or retain the choices.
The VA has comprehensive care - meds, trauma trained therapists, group with other service members with PTSD, day programs, and short term inpatient stays. Not all services in one place, sadly.
But a good place to start.

Sounds like family members or friends who are comfortable being outside with him (can calm him if he starts to get nervous about something) helps a lot.
(Mancave and shadows and video screens may trigger some of the PTSD).

Also, I wonder if he meets the diagnostic criteria for TBI (traumatic brain injury)? A medical determination, but that can help find most appropriate treatment. Sometimes meds don't work so well and therapy, structured activities, etc.
Let us know how he is doing, and your DIL and you as well. Will be sending good thoughts.
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Katefalc Sep 2021
If he served In the military during war time he is eligible for VA benefits. If his injury or PTSD is service related his care is fully paid for. Check with the department of veterans affairs
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I should add, I'm going to call my daughter in law's mother. She and I get along great and she'll let me know if I need to come.
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Of course this is taking a toll on everyone!. There is early onset Alzheimer's but from what you tell us about his health I would be more inclined to think otherwise. The tumor may be returning, meds may need to be adjusted. With these drastic changes, I would get him to his neurologist asap.
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whaleyf Sep 2021
He's checked regularly and the tumor has not returned. His biggest problem is not being able to sleep due to the pts. He's even had hallucinations (dreams while awake) while hiking in his woods. Pretty sure they need to adjust his meds. I did talk to my daughter in law today. She says it's not as bad as he makes it sounds and thinks it's due to lack of sleep that is causing all of it. But they have several doctor visits lined up to check it out.
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