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Even before the pandemic, an older male relative did not like to go to the doctor whether sick or for an annual physical. The last time they went, I had to schedule the appointment and he made me feel guilty for pushing him to go. He has taken me to the doctor on occasion (still drives) and part of the excuse for him not going is "you go too much". I have a few health issues but also am very religious about preventive care like colonoscopies and mammograms.
Now it has been more than three years since he had a physical. He says "don't nag me" but I and other relatives go for annual physicals regularly and try to convince him to go too. He has never had a colonoscopy and is well past 50. It's so frustrating, he's a very intelligent man!
I am not noticing any issues except regular alcohol use (1 or 2 drinks per day, most days) and he gets very little sleep (4 - 5 hours per night). Should I notch it up to individuality or is there a way to convince someone to start seeing a doctor regularly and get preventive care?

Leave him alone and stop applying your standards to him. Some people just want to live instead of living in fear.
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Reply to MJ1929
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While I'm sure you are well intentioned, I would totally back off and let him live his life as he sees fit. It's not your responsibility.
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Reply to againx100
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He "has never had a colonoscopy and is well past 50" - would it shock you to know that nobody in Canada gets a colonoscopy unless they are considered high risk? (We do the FIT test, you might get a lot more cooperation if you used that option too).
And other than taking his blood pressure (which he can do at home or at any pharmacy) and having a routine blood draw to check his blood sugar, triglycerides, and cholesterol what do you expect he'd get from an annual physical?
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Reply to cwillie
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MJ1929 17 hours ago
My mother had her first and only colonoscopy at 88. I'm 60 and have yet to have one, and I'm fine with that.

I was also super-rebellious when I was pregnant and didn't get a sonogram with my first child! :-)
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You mean well, but it is his life, health and body.
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Reply to Cover99
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I vote for leaving him alone. You won’t accomplish anything by nagging. It has to be his decision.

Friendly reminders are one thing. Harping on something, day in and day out becomes old. Before you know it, those that you are repeatedly singing the ‘same old tune’ to, will begin to tune you out!
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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You can lead a horse to water, you can not make them drink.
What we want for others doesn't work unless they want it for themselves.
There are a bunch of sayings like this.
You can not "make" someone do something that they do not want to do.
You can try to convince them.
You can plead.,
But after a while it is a waste of your time and energy.
You take care of yourself. Do what you do to keep yourself healthy.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Let him be. To be honest, its none of your business.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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As a nurse, I firmly believe in autonomy. If he has all his faculties, what does he wish to do? What are his beliefs about health care? My 90 yo folks hate going and only go if they are very sick they tell me it's the era they were raised in. They have gone for preventative care until 5 years ago.
Now they are a DNR and so are not going to go...live in peace and what happens happens.
I respect their wishes and honor their decisions as much as possible . It's really each individuals rights to make their own decisions about their health care.
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Reply to Patti2021
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I feel like you mean well, but I would not place your preferences on him. I know many people that have stopped some “routine” testing. They might see a healthcare provider for an infection or laceration, but have made the decision to live life without regular screenings. This man’s quality of life is his decision at this point.
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Reply to Sunnydayze
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It is your relatives decision and you need to respect it. My brother refused to get a colonoscopy developed colon cancer and died. I would hound him over and over and finally I gave up and respected his decision. He did say to me before he died he wished he listened to me .It can be very frustrating but it is his life to do as he pleases.
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Reply to earlybird
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