For five years now, my mother has been severely ill with MRSA in her sinus cavities. I am currently 20 years old living at home to aid my mother and am a full-time college student, and also don't have a drivers license. My mother is a college professor, and even if I wanted to, I can't take a break from college. After I had graduated high school I went to a university four hours away for half a semester before my generalized depression and anxiety over my mother's health made me return home. Unfortunately, my fears about my mother's health were well founded, because not even a month after returning home, she ended up in the hospital. I can't even remember what for anymore she's been in and out of the hospital so many times. It's been roughly two years since then and I lost count of the number of times she's been hospitalized. Though I love my mother, the stress of all this is making me feel insane. She is constantly sick and (from a botched surgery before I was born) has trouble swallowing and ends up throwing up a lot. She also has trouble ingesting her meds (due to having to swallow pills) and ends up throwing them back up, so she can't keep her medication down and sometimes will just not take it at all. Some of the side effects from the medication when she does take it make her have thy symptoms of a dementia patient. She is also on oxygen (due to scaring in her lungs from pneumonia) and is restricted greatly by this which makes her irritable. She has leg problems from blood clots (from a genetic disorder, factor 5 leiden) and has to use a walker if she's out. She has trouble with her equilibrium, she was always clumsy before getting really ill, but now she is literally a fall hazard. She'll over exert herself doing things like spontaneous bouts of vacuuming and won't listen when I tell her to stop because it is making her worse. Sometimes I feel like the parent in these situations, and it's an awful experience. I'll get frustrated and irritable and sometimes this will effect how I talk to her. Usually she gets snippy back at me, but the worst is when she starts crying. I hate crying, it sounds mean but I loath it, and when it's from something I did I just want to leave the room as fast as I can. She also will moan when she is in pain, like very loudly, and I know it's because she is actually really hurting, but it rivals my hatred for crying. Despite this, I care for her and just try to keep going and not let it get the best of me. I don't have a social life (but I am already introverted) and I didn't even before, but now just going to see a movie with friends has me on edge and I find myself worrying more over my mom's health and that I'd come home to a note saying she's in the hospital instead of enjoying anything. I know these are all factors of caregiver burnout, but having a name to my stress doesn't alleviate it. I do go to therapy weekly, and I have my grandma helping me care for my mother. I know it's not any easier for her, being that it's her daughter that's sick, and my aunt had passed away only a few years ago. I know their is no magic solution to these problems, but It's so frustrating and sometimes I feel like I am alone in this (I know I'm not, but it's hard to rationalize when depressed). It feels like this is what my life is going to be like no matter what I do. I just hate feeling so powerless in this situation, and I wish it were as if my problems were one physical being I could just defeat like a villain of some sort. I am at wits end and just want to know if there is anything that could make this easier for me and everyone else, or what other people in positions like this have do to help themselves.