My mom is not being truthful about her condition. Any suggestions?

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My mom lies to the doctors and refuses to accept any advice.

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I have a senior who always like to give positive responses and information. Just like wicked mentioned 'what people want to hear' . He wants a happy visit and prognosis from the dr. We try to tell them without accurate information it's hard to give effective treatment(in this case keep up with clothing changes-adult depends help?)

Without accurate information there isn't enough information for treatment that will work. If they think changes are needed ask them why and tell them if you don't want to see doctors, nurses tell us, at least be honest with us. But you cannot lie your way to a cure because numbers or physical symptoms aren't fooling anyone.
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Reply to biztap
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This really sounds extreme BUT if the patient declines to be changed, the question is What is the aid supposed to do? What is the agency's policy?
Do you still provide any care for her? Buy her groceries, etc? If you don’t, who does?
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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You don’t say how much time you actually spend with your mom, how you discovered all this was going on (did you actually SEE the infected sores on her backside?), who else is involved in her care, or a lot of other information we’d need to help you.

If you are working for a company and you don’t do your job, you get fired. If Mom’s physical condition is this bad and the same aide is continuing to come out, someone needs to remove her from your mother’s care. These kinds of sores don’t happen overnight. This shoddy care has been going on for a while. Someone in her family needs to step up and advocate for her. She should be accompanied to her doctor by a family member. If the doctor knows this is going on and is doing nothing, yiu need a new doctor. She can’t t lie about her sores. They are there for the doctor to see.

Someone needs to take control and stick up for Mom.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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I would ask for a diff person and keep a close eye on things to see if they improve. If they don't, are there any other agency's?

I would also report the agency, esp if they are going to do anything to correct this. Your mom and others being cares for should have better care.
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Reply to RogerMOkie
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First of all, my mom appears to lie, because she answers the question differently totally dependent on who is asking the question. I think she is saying whatever she thinks that person wants to hear. Does she accept her diagnosis? If she is refusing to take your advice, is there any risk to her safetly and well being if she does not follow your advice. What kind of advice? She may be making decisions not of your liking but that is her right to do so. Be aware that dependent on her age, and her illness or condition, she may not understand it, she may not remember it, she may think she is totally fine. Depending on her illness she may not even realize she is lying. She may simply be saying what she believes in the moment. I go with my mother to her appointments and she too gives incorrect answers. I simply wait or shake my head no, while she is talking to the doctor, and then he understands. I also have a written document I made which includes all her medical history, list of medications, list of allergies, list of all her different diagnosis. Notes about current issues. family doctors name, Drug Benefit Number etc.... The doctor and hospitals love that, as it makes their job easier. Better than that, it makes my job easier. And the first paragraph in this document, as my mother has alzhiemers, states her inablity to provide correct information. That way, I am not undermining her or correcting her during appointments, which leads her to feel more confident and trusting in my care.
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Reply to wicked2018
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Who took over her POA. Where are her other children and/or her siblings. What agency is providing care. Contact the agency who is sending the health aide there and let them know how you feel and request the agency send a supervisor or nurse to go in and examine your mother. They could do that just as a reassessment of her needs and although may not be able to answer confidential information, they may decide to send a different aide in to take care of her. Definately report your concerns to the agency.
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Reply to wicked2018
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Her home health aide is not doing her personal care not changing her underwater she has nasty sores on her bottom and she sits in her wheelchair with her underwater soaked with puss and it smells bad i am not her medical POA anymore she took me off after I called on the home health agency her aide barely does anything most of the time she sits around and does nothing or talks on cell phone or even sleeps on the couch and my mom covers for her lack of care
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Reply to mikeinohio
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What does she lie about, what advice is she disregarding, and how does this impact you? What would you like to have happen? How can we help you?
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Reply to jeannegibbs
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