Take her out for the day. Pick her up about 30 minutes before the cleaning person or persons get there. Lunch, maybe a manicure. If the cleaning will take a while maybe a movie.
I agree with taking her out for a few hours — and make sure the cleaning service sends multiple people so they can get done faster. I'm sure at 98 she can only take so much of a day out and about without a nap. If she's bothered by knowing strangers were in her apartment tell her the family cleaned it.
Simply take her out to lunch, leave part of the family to oversee it. Take her home a while. Return her afterward. If it is dirty enough it MUST be done, then tell her it is not an option as it MUST be done.
Find someone who will just clean. Do it with the idea that nothing will be thrown away. Nothing moved from its place. Nothing put in a cupboard that she currently has on the counter. No rearranging the furniture. Take pictures before so that they can be looked at after to make sure things are in place as found. This way you might get away with it a second time.
Make it happen and stop being afraid of mom. Either take her out for the day or just tell her it’s happening and make it happen, whichever gets you more peace. I can’t picture a 98 year old fighting off a cleaner, but can picture attempts to guilt, be rude, sulk, etc. all of which can be handled by persistent ignoring
I cleaned my mom’s house once a week. My sister who lived near by developed cancer and I insisted she only visit. If I moved things it was frustrating for her to find them, reach them. I had always been accused on “hiding”a things. If I put things off the counter top, she couldn’t get them back out, would have to wait for someone to come by to retrieve. Someone was there every day. She didn’t have to wait long. She loved her house being cleaned…by me. Straightened, not so much. But I was in a hurry and didn’t think about her (limited) reach at her breakfast table from her wheel chair, or the fact that she had therapy twice a week for her right arm because she had drop arm w/o it (no working rotator cuff). I needed to leave things she used often where she could easily access. sounds like common sense but I truly didn’t realize how limited she was. She did not complain. Sometimes perhaps it is the fear of things being misplaced. In later days I introduced a cleaner as someone to help me with floors. We worked together several times before I left the cleaner on her own. She wasn’t the best cleaner but she was local and knew my brother who lived close by and was trustworthy. Very rural area. I learned that I was moving too many things from my mom’s sister. Also in her 90s.
1930, I did do a lot of ignoring. Not proud of that today but we live and learn and mostly I learned from her both my ability to ignore and attend to detail. But I do agree that sometimes we have to just jump in and fade the heat later.
I agree with making a plan to get her out of the house for half the day or go over to keep her preoccupied while people clean. My mother lives with me and hates hiring help. She'd rather try to do it or have me do it. Please, if your children offer to pay for help, take it! Sometimes it's so much easier to pay someone to mow the lawn, do the landscaping, and clean the house. It's not a waste of money but elderly parents often don't see it that way.
Take her out for Lunch and to Visit Family and let the cleaners come In for 3- 5 Hours . They can Probably get it done in 3 Hours . Dont tell her either .
Pick her up about 30 minutes before the cleaning person or persons get there.
Lunch, maybe a manicure. If the cleaning will take a while maybe a movie.
I wish someone would do this for me!!!
If it is dirty enough it MUST be done, then tell her it is not an option as it MUST be done.
Take pictures before so that they can be looked at after to make sure things are in place as found.
This way you might get away with it a second time.
If I moved things it was frustrating for her to find them, reach them. I had always been accused on “hiding”a things.
If I put things off the counter top, she couldn’t get them back out, would have to wait for someone to come by to retrieve. Someone was there every day. She didn’t have to wait long.
She loved her house being cleaned…by me. Straightened, not so much.
But I was in a hurry and didn’t think about her (limited) reach at her breakfast table from her wheel chair, or the fact that she had therapy twice a week for her right arm because she had drop arm w/o it (no working rotator cuff).
I needed to leave things she used often where she could easily access. sounds like common sense but I truly didn’t realize how limited she was. She did not complain.
Sometimes perhaps it is the fear of things being misplaced.
In later days I introduced a cleaner as someone to help me with floors. We worked together several times before I left the cleaner on her own. She wasn’t the best cleaner but she was local and knew my brother who lived close by and was trustworthy. Very rural area.
I learned that I was moving too many things from my mom’s sister. Also in her 90s.
1930, I did do a lot of ignoring. Not proud of that today but we live and learn and mostly I learned from her both my ability to ignore and attend to detail. But I do agree that sometimes we have to just jump in and fade the heat later.
Thank you AgingCare.
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