Follow
Share

I have tried calling an aging agency they told me they can’t force my grandmother out of her house and they can only offer meals on wheels. My grandmothers dog is in very poor health and she refuses to take it to the vet. The dog gasps for air and is limping and whimpering. I tried calling social services they just offered their insurance for my grandma and said to try calling visiting angels. But the problem is my grandma is very stubborn and won’t listen. She has been having dizzy spells frequently and no one in my family seems to care that her health is declining. So I’m trying my absolute best to get her into a retirement home. Can someone please help me on what I can do next?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
This is a terrible situation, but I can relate. Stubborn elder and dog with issues. My elder had no business living on her own anymore, but would not leave. Had a million reasons why she would not leave, but yet had no particular plan on how to realistically stay put. Social services even told HER (in my presence) that no one could force her to leave her home. Plus, elder had me waiting on her and tending to her needs so elder saw no reason to leave. Quite frankly, I think social services was taking me for granted too that I would keep on propping up the charade of elder living at home - but that's a whole different story. Elder also had additional things she felt I should be doing for her and I was half out of my mind with stress and juggling things and people. Anyway, long story short, elder had a fall during a brief time she was home alone. Lifealert notified authorities and we all rushed to the hosp. *Immediately upon arriving at the hosp* I started with the unsafe discharge to whoever would listen. I hadn't even seen elder yet & family was looking at me like I was nuts since I was also crying and out of my mind by this point. Elder went from hosp to rehab. At rehab, I again preached unsafe discharge to anyone and everyone. At one point, I had to point out that I was "unavailable" to continue providing help to her and there wasn't anyone else to take her on. They found a Medicaid bed and we started that process. I did not take elder back home at any point - even "temporarily." Otherwise, I'd have been in the same boat of how to get her out of the house if she is refusing. Her dog was old, but still adoptable and he was given to a friend of a friend after several visits with the dog to make sure he was compatible with them, etc.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Dez, you don't give many details, like how old she is, does she have any known health issues (like diabetes, heart disease, etc). If she is only in her 60s or 70s advice may differ than if she is 80s or 90s. You say no one in your family "seems to care" but if they don't have durable Power of Attorney assigned to them by her, they legally cannot force her to do anything about her circumstances. Perhaps this is why they aren't doing anything...because they can't.

In the absence of PoA, your parents will have to pursue guardianship through the courts, then they could legally help her. But this is time-consuming and expensive. In the absence of this, the county will eventually get guardianship and then your family will no longer be able to make any medical, financial or legal decisions for her. All her assets (house, car, savings, SS check) will be appropriated by the legal guardian and used to pay for her care. When she passes the guardian will provide an itemized accounting of her expenses and how her assets were used to pay for it all. IF there's anything left over, then (if she has a Will), it will be dispersed accordingly. If there was no will I THINK it goes to probate. Please let your parents know this info, as they may not, and then they can decide if pursuing guardianship is something they should consider doing in her best interests.

Regarding her dog: there are mobile dog grooming services so you could research that and the cost. You can talk to your grandma and tell her a service will come to her and let her know the cost, BUT often they won't provide service unless you can prove the dog has had its shots up to date. Getting shots at vet can cost a fair amount of money. I think Banfield Vets (at Petco) might be the most reasonable, but then you'd have to convince gramma to go with you and again, she has to be wiling and able to pay for it.

What AlvaDeer posted about the "unsafe" discharge is solid advice and what most likely will happen, unfortunately. I wish you all the best, and you are a sweetie pie for your loving concern for your grandmother! May you have peace in your heart as you and your family work to help her.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Much depends now on the strength of the Animal Control agency in your area. San Francisco's is stellar. But that is rare.
Is the dog elderly? Perhaps, if so, this is self limiting and the animal will pass; and perhaps he is better in her care where he knows where he is, or mercifully put to sleep.
Visiting angels is of course merely an agency that hires folks, and is costly at 30.00 an hour or so and there is little they can do. If your Social Services agency is not going to help you with either grandmother or dog there is honestly little you can do. You cannot force anyone into retirement home until and unless you are their guardian. If Grandmother fails badly that is time to get her put in hospital ER with EMD ambulance call. Refuse to take her home and tell them that discharge home constitutes "unsafe discharge" and you will hold them responsible for whatever happens to her. Do not participate in discharge. While she is gone, were it me, I would take the poor animal to a vet and have it taken into care or put mercifully to sleep. But that's me.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

If you are interested in having the dog cared for, call the local ASPCA. This will probably result in him being euthanized.

You may simply need to wait for grandma to fall and become badly enough injured for 911 to be called.

You cannot care more about her than she cares about herself. (((Hugs))))).
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter