My in law is getting a POA on me and my husband can she make us leave each other?


My in law is getting a POA on me and my husband can she make us leave each other? I'm 27, he's 25, and we have kids.

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No...just no, no, no and I am probably the biggest liberal on this board. When I was 20, during one of my breakups, I found out I was pregnant. I worked 40 hours a week and took 21 credits a semester and my mom and sister helped me a lot. I never asked for anything  from anyone except my family and they helped because I was bettering myself. Your on disability begging for beer money for an alcoholic while my tax dollars are are supporting you because your disabled and pregnant. Seriously? You are not taking care of yourself or your kids, you are enabling an alcoholic and you are pregnant without a means to support yourself. Then you're sitting here crying you give money to MIL and want help. Get yourself together, quit enabling and quit having children til you get yourself together. Yes, I know this is harsh.
Helpful Answer (11)
Reply to tacy022

If you're in need of mental health treatment or adjustment of your medications, it would probably be best to get treated voluntarily. If you or hubby are in a manic or depressed state, and if the police feel that you are a danger to yourselves or others, they can make it mandatory that you go to an inpatient facility (which is NOT jail and you wouldn't be in trouble), BUT it would be much better for you if you got the proper treatment of your own accord if needed. Besides, you want to be sure you are thinking clearly for the sake of your children also.

I have had people close to me, including my oldest child, who have struggled with bipolar disorder. Treatment is nothing to be ashamed of. Just know it could be that MIL is worried about both of you if she sees you aren't eating, sleeping or thinking clearly. I know when my daughter has been manic or depressed, I just wanted her to get better so she would be herself again and I would know she was okay. Hugs to you - I hope you will be okay too and make sure you take care of you.
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Reply to FrazzledMama

Tacy022, You expressed many of my thoughts. I’m a clinical psychologist. Over the past 10 years I’ve attended probably 100+ SSDI and SS hearings. Most bipolar persons function very well with medication and treatment. There are periodic adjustments needed at times. For someone to get SSDI there has to be a disabling component. SSDI is not routinely awarded for bipolar. Bumming for beer money for a MIL is not part of being a good parent. They need to move out. The in laws cannot have them committed. or get POA without just cause.
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Reply to anonymous439773

Are you sure your in law isn't just doing their planning by making you or your husband THEIR power of attorney in case they are unable to care for themselves?

It's common (and a good thing) to plan as you get older and have an attorney draw up paperwork as to who you want to manage your health care and financial decisions in case you are unable to make those decisions for yourself. Of course, it's important to discuss these things with children or potential appointees beforehand.

Did they say what the POA is for? You and hubby (or whomever is designated) would have to agree to it, and would have the option to decline.
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Reply to FrazzledMama

Your mother-in-law is getting a Power of Attorney on you and your husband?  She can only be signed on with YOUR content. You also have the ability to change it whenever you want.

It is up to YOU to sign her on as POA. I really don't see why you would pick HER when you have a husband who would know better of what you would want for your last days when you're dying (like in 60 years!).

A POA is ONLY effective if you can't speak for yourself (stroke, dementia, coma, etc.). Your husband would be the likely POA, as you would be for him. I would tell your MIL that you have changed your minds and want to be each other's POA's.
The fact that you both probably won't need to use this for another 50-60 years, makes me wonder  "WHY" MIL wants to be involved. I smell a rat here!

NO, she can NOT make you do anything you don't want to do. PLEASE do some research and look up Power of Attorney. She definitely has NO power to make you leave each other. I would stay away from her suggestions (and from her too.).
Your sentence, "Can she make us leave each other?"  makes me very uncomfortable. Is she trying to separate you two? Well, she can't do it that way.
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Reply to SueC1957

I agree, I think they are having their Power of Attorney's for their purpose. This is so if one or both are not able to make decisions for themselves your husband will be able to. Your husband will have no power until this happens. As a DIL, you may not want that responsibility so they need to assign someone else as secondary. If you or your husband do not want POA responsibility for his parents then tell them so they can make a different choice.

A POA is assigned. You or your husband would see a lawyer and ask that a particular person be assigned as your representative in case you are not able to handle your finances or medical decisions. No one can go to a lawyer and say "I want POA over this person."

Your in-laws maybe able to have POA drawn up but until you and your husband sign the document assigning them then its null and void. In other words its not legal. Also, this should all be done in a lawyers office witnessed and notarized. If you are uncomfortable or don't understand what is going on tell the lawyer. He should not force you to sign anything that you don't understand. I really think you, personally, need a family member or someone to help you understand the process. Like we have said, no one can "get" a POA on you and if in-laws are trying I wouldn't want them having any controll over me.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Unless there is more to this story, tell her "good luck with that!".

If she threatening you, then you need to get a lawyer and you Drs involved. Is she threatening you in any way? Is she coming after you for poor parenting or poor mental health maintenance or money management? For if it is, attempting to obtain a Medical POA is an unusual way to go about it, and Nobody can force you to sign over POA to them.
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Reply to staceyb

You should receive a letter for court appearance. Do attend at the time and state your refusal. Just appearing in court should prove you are competent. Just answer the judge's questions.
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Reply to MACinCT

JoesWife, I really think you've misunderstood many of the posts here and have ignored the difficulty in following your situation. I don't think I'm the only who kept wondering what thas situation really was.

Yet people continued to post, offer suggestions, and try to help, not really understanding because the situation just wasn't clarified.

Now in a rambling James Joyce style stream of consciousness post you claim that 'Everyone of u are wrong …". Well, I think we were wrong, to try to understand, to try to help.

I really do need to address one particular "sentence": "she makes us go bum money and walk to the store for beer everyday". Are you serious? If you allow yourself to be manipulated and dominated, don't accuse someone else of "making" you do something. All you have to do is say "'No!"

Don't worry about our trying to help you any more. I suspect I'm not the only one who will continue to be "wrong". But I won't devote any more time to being "wrong." There are other posts which are coherent, and posters who are appreciative of time spent trying to help them.

I wish you and your family the best in sorting out this situation, which is still confusing to me.

And Tacy, kudos to you for calling the shots as you see them! Well said!
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Reply to GardenArtist

I’ve read both of your posts and profile information. Bipolar disorder is often hard to treat. You appear to have a lot of responsibilities. Profile says that you are taking care of your husband, two children, are pregnant and care for someone named Crystal. Besides bipolar what other problems does your husband have that require care? What problem does Crystal have that requires care? Medications for bipolar sometimes cause side effects that can impact one’s ability to maintain a regular schedule,to work, etc. How do you and your husband support yourselves?
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Reply to anonymous439773

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