My husband is 84 years old.
In 2014 he had a widow maker heart attack and a stint was placed.
In 2015 he was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer Stage IV
In 2016 he had an Aortic Abdominal Aneurysm and had a stint placed.
In 2017 his prostate cancer moved to the bone
December of 2017 my husband stopped seeing doctors and he stopped taking all medications, against doctors orders. Since that time my husband has been on nothing, not even an aspirin, and no doctors at all.
After quitting all medications my husband seemed like a new man for awhile. He lost a lot of the weight he gained from the meds. His mind was clearing up and he felt great and looked great, UNTIL a few months ago.
He has lost all muscles in his arms, and legs and is nothing but a walking bone.
His eyes are sunken and he is often confused about things just as he was when he was on medications and the reason he stopped taking medications.
His legs are swollen so bad they look like elephant legs, the ankles were the first to explode and now it is the entire leg and feet.
He has shortness of breath now and is so weak that it is hard for him to stand let alone walk. More so than before. He couldn't walk very well before due to his dizziness and bad feet. But now it is due to weakness and dizziness.
He sleeps constantly all day long and has a hard time breathing laying down.
It was bad enough for me to deal with all this back in 2014 when it first began, but now, since he no longer sees a doctor or takes medication I am mentally worn out. Emotionally destroyed and sick to my stomach everyday wondering what today will bring. I find myself crying at the grocery store, washing dishes or alone in my room in the house.
It is hard to just sit here and watch someone die. At least when you go to a doctor, whether you take medicine or not, at least the doctor will tell the patient and the spouse if they are doing better, doing well, doing awful, or if dying how long they have to live. This helps the survivor plan for their future. As bad as the news maybe, at least you know !!!!
I asked my husband how sick do you have to get before you will go see a doctor again? And he says, he's thinking about it, but he never says yes.
So day after day, I watch him deteriorate, and sleep in his easy chair, with labored breathing, and find myself often sitting next to him listening to see if he is breathing at all, or looking for his chest to show some signs of life. What a way to live, having to check to see if your husband is a live or dead every time you enter a room.
I don't understand why he can't just go see a Doctor, get blood work, an EKG, an X-Ray just to find out. But I think he is afraid to find out. And so,
I hate my life. Because I don't have a life and haven't had a life since 2014.
I've seen counselors but they keep assuring me that there is nothing I can do to make my husband see a doctor because he is of sound mind. They sympathize with me, but they can't help me. Nobody can help me. Not a church, or anyone. The only person who can help me is my husband by going to see a doctor and getting himself checked out.
His children don't see him hardly at all, but when they do they tell him that he needs to get off his butt and see a doctor to see how he is medically. But my husband tells them that it is his personal decision.
I'm writing this not because I expect anyone to help me, because nobody can, but I'm writing this to perhaps help someone else who is going through the same thing I am. But then again, I'm wondering how many people stopped seeing a doctor or taking any type of meds at all? I'm curious how many? Especially with everything my husband has? How can he live so long without treatment?
And what is awful about all this is that I find my life now evolves around waiting for him to die. And I've gotten to the point of hoping it will soon. And that makes me more depressed and not very happy with who I am anymore.