My mother has been in memory care for four weeks as of tomorrow (April 24). The weather is finally nice and I want to take her outside to sit on the porch of the assisted living facility where she has been for only four weeks. Is it too soon? I worry she may not want to go back inside.
I'm not sure about a sitting on the front porch, but I think that might be okay as well, if you preface it by saying something like, "let's just sit out here for a little while to get some fresh air" or before going back inside, say something like, "this was so nice. Let's go back inside and get some iced tea or something cool to drink."
If she doesn't want to go back in, try using a therapeutic fib to get her inside, like: "Ok, let's go get your purse and other stuff first. You need to show me what you want to take." Or, "I have to sign us out first." Whatever you think will work.
1 - Time of day when your loved one is most cooperative.
2 - Suggest "short break outside for _____ minutes" rather than anything open-ended.
3 - Have a planned activity, treat, or other enticement to get your loved one back inside afterwards.
4 - Ask the facility to help you if your loved one becomes difficult.
5 - Don't become upset yourself if your loved one becomes upset.
As someone below suggested (cooperative 'timing'), ask staff what they think.
While I haven't personally had any issues with a client being resistant to coming back into the main / community room, if your mom tends to get upset easily or has anxiety or behaviors that give you reason(s) to think she may not want to leave outside to return inside, ask a staff person to assist you. They know your mom; she knows them. They know how to work / interact with her.
While it may be hard to not future trip, I would encourage you to just be as present as you can be ... not foresee obstacles, while being prepared for what may happen (sounds like a contradiction, but it really isn't) ... keep calm.
While she may not remember, tell her before you go outside that it'll be for a few minutes. If she is in a wheel chair, it would be easier for you to manage the situation vs her getting up and walking around ...
Does she enjoy dining time? Lunch time?
Go before these meals - so she'll have something to look forward to and be hungry - and ready to go back inside.
Don't forget sunglasses and a sun hat if needed.
It'll likely work out just fine. When I worked with one client in a MC, I would take her 'all over' the facility / main floor ... look at the Christmas tree, say hello to the receptionists at the front desk ... go into the library ... people watch as they came inside the building, some residents there would stop and say hello. She loved it. We'd stop here and there for a while.
Let us know how it goes.
You'll get lots of useful suggestions-ideas and support here.
Gena / Touch Matters
We'd go out into the garden and look at the flowers other residents had planted, but only for a short while because she felt the cold, even if it was just a light breeze.
It was stimulating and Mum felt a little brighter for it.