My mother in law came to live with us after taking on the sole parental role of her new grandbaby from her other son who lost custody of his child the day his baby was born (the mother of her child also lost custody and the child became in CPS care but living with my mother in law). We have now adopted the little one (making our kid-count now three). My MIL still lives with us because she is getting up there in health (age too but mostly health+age). She also was this little ones sole provider for the first 7 months of her life. This has all since worn my MIL down and recently she had a pacemaker put in. She is doing fine but as far as our privacy for the simple things of raising our kids and living our life how WE want has gone out the window. She is retired and is a very high anxious person who talks at every quiet moment, who is always right there every time we walk into the kitchen or kids rooms or outside for a breather - she finds a way to need something. She also treats this little one we adopted (her grandbaby) different than our other kids. She spoils her to the point that this almost two year old throws HUGE tantrums with the smallest of things like leaving one room to another because she doesn’t want to. This kid loves corn dogs and we passed by them in the freezer section of the grocery store and she wanted one and literally threw a crying screaming fit. We take the bigger kids outside to help with some chores and she will say “oh you will get to go out there one day and play too, I know you want to go play I’m so sorry” In other words she “creates” an environment where this little one THINKS she is without/sad/in need of something/anything all the time. The middle child is acting out a lot because of the attention this new little one gets. It breaks my heart. My MIL is super sensitive and telling her straight out how we need our space will throw her over the edge in her fragile state of mind and body. My husband feels the same as me but doesn’t know what to do. she does help with watching the kids while we work when they are sick (two school ages kids are older and the new little is in day care now).
I have gone to my doctor and started taking medication because I am miserable living with her. She is a good person (overall) but we need our LIFE back. Any suggestions would be great!!
It’s hard to write everything in one Post so please ask anything to help guide your answers.
I'm depressed and my husband is too. We are not there for our kids like we want to be and feel the stress on our own bodies (husbands having some small chest pains). I don’t want to come home some days or any day when she is here - which is all the time. But I don’t want to be the person that gives her a heart attack and I do want to help her.