My mother is almost unable to walk and having cognitive issues and my father has dementia and falls often. I have 3 children and a husband. We just bought our first house. My older brother who has been living with them for 2 years has decided he can't deal with them anymore and is moving out leaving them alone. He is 63, I am 45. They are unable to care for themselves, my father can no longer drive. I used to live 5 minutes away from them and now since my brother assured me he would take care of them, we have moved 3 hours away. My mother does not want to move here with me and my family, she does not want to let go of her independence and her home. When I think I have convinced her to she changes her mind over and over again.
There is no other way, my other brother died 5 years ago from cancer and has caused her severe depression and cognitive decline that is rapid. She can no longer prepare meals, or set up my dads pills in the pill box. I have no other relatives that can help me or are even alive. What's worse is they don't speak English very well, my mother is very hard of hearing, my father has heart problems and suffers from vertigo. They are very stubborn and determined to do things for themselves but can't. I know this will be a life changing event for my husband and I. They can't afford a senior living facility or any kind of care. My husband is very understanding and positive, I am deeply concerned and worried for them.
I know it is my responsibility to care for them but I also know it is going to be very difficult for all of us to adapt to this change. Can anyone give me some advice? I have started to prepare a room for them in my home, it is my younger daughters room she is moving into a room upstairs for now until we can afford to maybe extend our home and build an add on for them. They refuse to write a will or talk about what their last wishes are, I don't have any type of power of attorney or any guardianship or anything to help them due to their refusal. I love them to death and respect them. Any advice would help and would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.