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My father has always been very controlling and eccentric. However, this has gotten worse as he ages (now in his fifties) and due to the pandemic.
He is a conspiracy theorist and always likes to go 'against the flow' of what most people think e.g he believes 9/11 was done by the US government, does not think the moon landing was real...
When covid first started, he completely freaked out. He bought a huge freezer for the house and stockpiled food, we were not allowed to go anywhere without masks, hand sanitizer always, ordered groceries to the house instead of leaving... He believed it was some type of insane virus created by some government.
Now, a year and a half later, he believes the covid isn't real. A complete 360. I have no idea what is going through his mind. He recieves all of his information through 'alternative sources' such as social media posts or news articles from very niche websites. He thinks the vaccine is some experimental gene therapy and will result in the deaths of millions within a few years. He does not wear masks when going out and speaks to anybody he meets about the dangers of the vaccine. He is repeatedly emailing my school about no vaccine mandate and how they are killing people. I know many people who have gotten covid and were seriously affected. He refuses to listen to me and insists they have underlying diseases and covid is harmless.
My entire family is forbidden from getting vaccinated.
I may have to get it for university soon and he is completely in denial about it. Every time I bring it up he insists I am not going to university. My boyfriend is vaccinated and he dislikes my boyfriend because he believes the vaccine will somehow 'shed' into my blood (???) He also talks to my boyfriend about taking him to get blood tests to prove to me the vaccine is killing him.
He does not listen to any type of evidence and if I disagree with him, it becomes a huge 'argument' (him yelling about how disrespectful I am, how I should listen to him, how I must think he's so stupid...) Any disagreement with him is instantly met with self pity from him or talking about how intelligent he is and how I should listen to him. Every day he sends me multiple anti vax news and asks me about it to ensure I have read/watched it. If I can't answer it becomes another fight. I do not mind if we have differences in opinion. I am just sad about this because we are fighting everyday, he thinks I do not respect him and he will actually prevent me from going to university over this. I cannot afford it on my own.
He is completely insane about this. I am very tired.
My sister has a stress condition caused by dealing with him. Her psychologist recommended she have a meeting with my dad to see what the issue is. It ended in him screaming at the psychologist and angrily storming out. He thinks his behaviour is completely normal and I am stupid for disagreeing.
I am sorry this question is all over the place. I am very tired and at a loss of what to do. He always believes he is correct and cannot possibly be wrong. I don't like talking about this with people in real life. I always feel I am 'betraying' him if I complain or mention anything about him. Please help.

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Might we ask where you live?

Did your mother leave because your father was abusive? Where I live, it would be very unusual for parents not to have joint custody or at least visitation with both parents.

Do you attend school? Are you not able to talk to teachers or counselors there?
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If you've already been applying to colleges, contact your admissions counselor in order to ensure they know your parents will not be paying for any of it. They can help you with financial aid options.

If you're 18, get vaccinated immediately, and yes, you'll have to be vaccinated to go to college as well. If you can contact your doctor's office, ask for a copy of your vaccination records, because you'll need them to go to college. (You'll also need the meningitis vaccine, too.)

I'm surprised your sister's therapist hasn't reported your dad to social services, as he's created an unsafe home for his minor children. You should go to your school counselor and tell them you're in an unsafe living situation. They are required by law to report it. If they don't (and sadly, some won't), contact the police yourself. Go to the police station in person if you need to.

Where's Mom in all of this?
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help9731 Oct 2021
I am under 18 so I can't do anything. In my country I need parental permission for everything.
I would not say my father is creating an unsafe environment. He is a great dad and very encouraging and supportive the majority of the time. He would never be violent. We get along well most of the time. I think that is why I am really struggling to do anything drastic. I also have a younger sibling who I would like to help protect. Right now his anger is mostly focused on me.
He falls into these times of obsession over something and he will be very manic about this issue and be hyper focused on it. Right now, it is this covid. My sibling and I have all our other vaccinations. It is only with this one that he has gone down the conspiracy route and is completely lost in it.
I think he has a lot of anger issues and mood swings that he cannot control, like the yelling and screaming when we fight. I don't think he realizes he is doing it or that he is being unreasonable, but any attempt to talk is met with more hostility and anger. Mostly he is just guilt tripping and thinks he is always correct. He is very mocking and dismissive if I disagree with him, he will call me selfish, stupid, say I have no experience because I am only a kid... scream at my face and rant for 50-60 minutes at a time where I have to stand and listen or else it's worse. It's scary to approach him because I never know what mood he will be in, like a happy, talkative one or a explosive rant one.
I know he cries sometimes after these 'fights.' But normally he is starting it and doing the screaming, while I am crying or silent, so I don't understand why.
My parents are divorced. I do not have a relationship with my mother.
Thank you so much for your comment :)
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Please accept that your dad is dealing with uncontrolled mental illness and there’s nothing you can do to fix that. He needs care way beyond your abilities, and even then he’s unlikely to accept help. Protect yourself in every way possible. Not sure of your country or age, but if at all possible move away. If not possible create distance where you are, discuss as little as possible with your dad, refuse to engage in arguments, and be out of the house as much as possible. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, time to look after yourself
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help9731 Oct 2021
thank you so so much for your comment! :) I am trying to deal with it. Reading these comments really helped. It makes me feel like I'm making sense and not being dramatic.
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If you live in the US and are over 18 he can't control whether or not you get the vaccine, whether or not you go to university or whether or not you live in his house. You can probably get a free vaccine on campus or at a clinic if you wish. I'm so sorry for how his behavior is affecting you and your family. Do you have any other relatives that you can lean on for support and wisdom or live with temporarily? Or friend of the family? I wish you all the best and send you (((hugs)))
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help9731 Oct 2021
I am under 18 and don't have any other adults to talk to.
Thank you so much for your help!! :)
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Get yourself vaccinated. Make other plans for yourself in regards to college, where you live and how much contact you have with your father. There is no easy way to fix your dad. Mass hysteria will probably eventually burn itself out (in my hopeful opinion) and your job is to protect yourself until it does. Your father is part of minority opinion group that does seem delusional to the vast majority of us. As a society we haven't figured out how to bring these folks back from the edge of the abyss. We don't expect you to be able to make your parent have less fringe conspiracy theories. Don't be held hostage to his financial support. Many others have made their way to be free, happy, and successful away from smothering birth families. Focus much less on helping your dad and a lot more on creating a healthy future for yourself. Many friends and families have been disappointed and broken up over this pandemic and political environment. Your family may be another victim. Keep yourself safe and reconsider your goals and put your own physical and mental health first. I suggest making a safe exit plan and then carrying it out. You might want to do this secretly so as not to trigger some violent reaction on his part. You are growing up and this is one very uncomfortable phase you will get through. It may not be easy but is an important step to take.
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help9731 Oct 2021
thank you so, so much for your help. :)
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