For the past year, I would often hear my Mom complain about my Dad. She would say things like "He no longer makes the bed". "He doesn't even wash the dishes anymore and it was his favorite chore to do." She says all he does now is wakes up, brushes his teeth and sits on the couch and has his coffee.

Yesterday my mom finally broke down and told me more obvious signs of confusion and she is convinced it's dementia and has made an appointment.

--a month ago, they were wheeling their groceries in the cart to the car, and when my Dad popped open the trunk, he actually thought the car was broken into, and someone had stolen their groceries. My dad was holding onto the cart that held the groceries he was to put in the trunk. He was also adamant on telling a security guard his car was broken into.

-- Two days ago they were headed to my aunt's for dinner and my Dad was holding a dessert they were bringing as they left to go to dinner . As they were about to leave, my Dad says to my Mom, "Oh know! I forgot to take something out for dinner tonight!". Meanwhile, they were leaving to go eat dinner at my aunt's place.

--yesterday I went to visit to have coffee with my Dad. He asked where my husband was, and then 5 minutes later he asked again. When I said to him "you just asked me and I told you he was working", he said "I didn't just ask you. I'm asking you now"

Alzheimer's/Dementia runs on both sides of my family.

And to think I just buried my mother in law last week after suffering from Dementia for 6 years.

Find Care & Housing
CP1976, I agree with Geaton777 about having your Dad tested for an Urinary Tract Infection. UTI's can mimic dementia. It's worth having it checked out. The test is easy, pee in a cup, and the doctor or urgent care can usually run the results in their office.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to freqflyer

Glad your mom is not being in denial and is taking him to the doctor. An evaluation would be a good plan. If she has not already communicated the reason for the appointment to the doctor's office, she should do so in advance so they know what's going on but hopefully they can keep it from your dad. Ask them to please be discrete. Sometimes they forget such things.

Anyhow, if it is dementia, make sure mom is getting support. Being the 24/7 person can be daunting to say the least.

Maybe he's depressed? You'll find out soon. Keep us posted.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to againx100

Agree with Countrymouse. Also, make sure to ramp up your help and support of your mom. When your mom gets him to the appointment she should discretely pass a pre-written note to the doc or nurse explaining what's been going on with her husband, to give a cognitive exam and also test for a UTI which, in seniors, are quite common and often have no other symptoms except for confusion and behavior changes. Antibiotics can clear it up. At the check-in she should ask for the Medical Representative form for your dad to sign and naming her as an authorized person to whom his doctor can communicate without your dad being present, and from whom the doctor can receive and act upon medical information provided by your mom about your dad. Her being the spouse doesn't enable it, her being medial PoA doesn't enable it. If he does have the beginnings of dementia, please know there is much great support on this forum, and there are many excellent educational resources, such as the Teepa Snow videos on YouTube. Lastly, dementia/ALZ can be inherited but only if you get the gene. Being related doesn't guarantee you'll get it. I wish you peace in your hearts as you go on this journey with your family.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Geaton777

It could be, and your heart must have sunk to witness/hear about these incidents.

But it also could *not* be, and your mother has done exactly the right thing by making an appointment. How is she? I think the best thing you can do to help is keep an open mind and give them both as much encouragement as you can.

I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. I hope this won't sound trite or glib, but seriously do remember the key phrase from the Alzheimer's Society:

"When you've met one person with dementia, you've met one person with dementia."

NOTHING has to be the same for different people.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Countrymouse

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter