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It’s hard to summarize this in a succinct way.


My father-in-law has been sick since he was 27, he’s now about to be 53. His overall health waxes and wanes.


My husband and I have only been married 4 months, but we’ve been together for 10 years and lived together for 6 years.


My father-in-law was remarried 10 years ago, right around when my husband and I started dating. His stepmom was very involved in our lives. Two months ago we found out she was having a long term affair and now his father-in-law and stepmom are divorcing. She moved out of their house more than a month ago.


My husband and I currently rent a terrible, old, falling apart house. We were beginning to look into buying a home, but live in Houston and the housing market is ridiculous here. Both my parents and his father offered to pitch in since we are both doctors in training and work long hours for not much money. But in general we could afford to rent for the foreseeable future.


Suddenly his dad has offered for us to move into his home, take over the master bedroom, and he will move into his guest house.


I’m afraid I will never feel comfortable or at home there. The whole house reeks of his stepmom, and even if we changed some things I would feel like we displaced his father. We want to try to start our family soon, and obviously want to have my father-in-law close and involved with any grand babies. But the idea of living with him while trying to get pregnant is awkward.


Did I mention that my parents live about a mile away from his father in law? They did this on purpose. My husband doesn’t get along with my mother, and my mother stresses me out a lot.


Not to mention, my sister-in-law has always been very very very protective of her father. Never liked her stepmom. I always figured she would reassert herself as matriarch as soon as the divorce was finalized. But if we live in the house with him, then what?


Thanks for understanding.

Don't Do It! Your Way too young, too busy, and he will try to run your lives, if not now, eventually! Always a third wheel, Zero alone time, resentment, it never works! Baby making and in-laws does not equate, as what's Sexy about that? Lol!

Many stressors come with living with other people, Any Other People, and you 2 have enough on your plates with Med School!

Please rethink this plan, and support him from a mile or two away. He's lonely, I get it, but it's not your problem. Let him get used to being on his own, or he can sell his house and get into a Senior Living environment, where he will meet other people, That's probably the best option! Good Luck!
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to staceyb
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If you're using this as a sounding board. just step back and read what you've written. I think you already know the answer. Good luck precious one. 😊
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Reply to dlpandjep
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Don’t do it. Ditch the house when the lease is up and find yourself a small, affordable apartment. Since you both work long hours, the apartment will just be a place to crash and throw something in the microwave. You don’t need the Penthouse. Tell FIL thanks but no thanks.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Read a little on this site, and you will learn how many people regret moving in with in-laws (and often parents). You are young. Your FIL is only 53. What happens as he declines? Since your SIL is protective of her father, do you want her calling all the shots while you are the ones to live with him?

The close distance to your own parents (and you don't get along with your mother) from your FIL's is also a big concern.

"Both my parents and his father offered to pitch in since we are both doctors in training and work long hours for not much money. But in general we could afford to rent for the foreseeable future."

And what kinds of strings will be attached to that offer to "pitch in"? (And what does that mean...pitch in $?)

You said you can afford to continue to rent. I suggest you do so. Soon enough you will be making more money.
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Reply to CTTN55
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