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Interesting comment to worry about getting in legal trouble if elder smells. During a recent rehab stint, my uncle was inconvenienced several times, especially after midnight, and had to sit in a poop and/or urine soaked bed for quite some time before an aide would come to his room and help him (he is legally blind and required help to the bathroom). I finally hit the roof and complained to the nursing administrator. I said it was rather interesting that if I neglected my elder at home in that manner, that any neighbor or relative could report me to APS, but rehabs and nursing homes get away with this kind of neglect all the time with no repercussions!! The fact of the matter is that some of the late night shift aides sit around watching TV, playing on their IPODs or falling asleep on the job!
In your case, Angel, your are certtaianly not neglectful of your Mom, so no worries - this is simply typical behavior as elders progress in their physical and mental infirmities. Further, I don't think any of us here could be accused of neglect, or we would not bother subscribing to this site and asking eachother for advice and support. That's why we are called "CARE"givers.
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Thats guys the baby wipes help out its getting a little better.
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She does let us change her sheets and she changes her clothes, I have put baby wipes in her bathroom. She will wear depends but sometimes she dont like to. So I replaced her underwear with depends. We are doing our best she will bath about once a week. Thanks for all your advice.
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Back to the bathing problem. As a caregiver in a facility, we have found that the direct approach is the best. "We need to give you a shower, Mrs......, as you are walking there is an odor coming from you.. You know, we girls,have to be squeaky clean." Don't ask..."do you want to shower or how about a shower..." "It's shower time."
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Oh, well I most definitely and whole heartedly concur with Jinx! No doubt about it, PLAY ON! I was only defining playing vs. shaking it dry. *wicked grin* Hope you have a playmate in your sandbox. I'm getting ready to go to Texas and visit mine. *does happy dance*
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Sometimes medications can make urine smell especially strong. In addition, if she is even somewhat dehydrated, that can make the odor worse.
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Capnhardass, I've made up MY dam mind. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH PLAYING WITH IT! Enjoy!
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capnhardass, you shake it until it runs dry. It's only playing if you get tingly feelings.
:D
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Not caring or wanting to bathe is also a sign of depression. Been there done that. Anyone ever had one of those depressions where you sat on the couch in your bathrobe for days or weeks on end, until the couch developed a dent? Only getting out of bed in the morning because you knew you owed it to your children to do so.

I thought of something else after I got offline and went to bed last night; if the smell of urine is very strong she is not drinking enough water. She may be dehydrated, which can create conditions perfect for UTI.
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Bathing is an issue and we as caregivers are the ones who have to keep our parents clean. I worry if mom is not clean when she goes to her doctors especially. It would take one time for them to think I wasn't taking good care of her and we would have some major problems. She always has a shower when she goes out, but tell her cleaning up is good for just sitting around the house. I do check and see if she is cleaning well enough though, UTI is a common problem.
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Bathing seems to be an issue with aging parents, my best friend's mother would fight her to bath. My mom use to bath once a week and she will give me a hard time if she is not in the mood.

I am pretty direct with my mom, if she smells I give her a dishpan with hot water, soap, wash rag and towel. Then I tell her that she stinks and needs to bath. She makes faces but she also knows I won't give her clothes until she does.
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the army told us if we shake it more than three times were playing with it. everybody needs to make up their dam minds..
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My husband doesn't have dementia or alzheimers yet and he smells like pee. It's a real touchy subject too, he won't discuss it without fireworks. He can't smell it, so to him it doesn't exist. So glad I moved out!. He doesn't like to do laundry, he will wear the same clothes and underwear for days, and he showers about once a week. I did finally get him to accept that he did not smell good and now he will wear clean clothes and shower before going anywhere with any of us, or if his daughter comes down. I also taught him to use 3 to 4 cups of white vinegar in each load of laundry. In the wash not the rinse cycle. He doesn't do laundry often, but at least it gets clean when he does.

Now that we have covered that, WHY does she smell like pee? It's more common in men because if they don't give their penis a good couple of shakes after urinating, the urine continues to dribble a bit. Women use toilet paper and because they take time to wipe, generally there is not a dribble. Is your mom having accidents? Does she have some leakage between bathroom visits? Does she have a UTI? A visit to the doctor might be in order. If it's only a hygiene problem the doctor can discuss it with her better than you can, and then you can provide her with flushable wipes.

As far as legal trouble, I don't think that's a problem. Otherwise 90% of nursing homes would have been closed down decades ago, ROFL!
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No. If she is otherwise healthy, I don't see you getting into any trouble. Does she allow you to wash her clothes? Will she wear Depends? Maybe she would agree to washing up with a baby wipe.
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