I don't know if anyone remembers me . I came on here last year to vent about my mom. Well about two weeks ago, mom fell again, ended up in the hospital . Our cousin, who lives in Virginia, said she would help with mom. She offered to help us like 8 months ago, when me and mom still lived with each other. I was calling the hospital, the hospital calling me, giving me updates on mom, of what was going on; well, I call the hospital and social worker today, turns out mom now told them she wants the information about her to be given to our cousin, who lives in Virginia. By next week, she's supposed to be discharged from the hospital and sent to a nursing home. It honestly sounds like my cousin will come up and just take her..

When first, the hospital asked me to be her POA, again, and now I get this news... Plus since I took mom back home from the nursing home last year, she took my name off of everything, off the checking account, forced me to close the bank account, so now I literally have nothing...

So basically, honestly it feels like mom throw me under the bus... I took care of her for over 7-10 years... I just needed to vent, I don't know what I'm going to do, or where I'll go... but this is ridiculous ...

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Miku, I remember that you had a very volatile relationship with your mom and you didn't want to visit her.

What happened that you caved and brought her home and then stayed while she systematically removed you from her care?

I guess I think that you need to decide what you want to do without your mom and go live your life. I am so sorry that she can not give you the love you desire from her. She isn't capable and the sooner you come to terms with that, the sooner you can move forward.

Great big warm hug!
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal
Mikuhatsune01 Oct 15, 2020
The nursing home pushed her back into my care, after she threatened to get a lawyer and she the nursing home. The nursing home wasn't looking out for her needs but wants... Guilt trip also didn't help...
I don’t understand. You say mom is going to nursing home. Then you say aunt is coming from VA.... Which one?

What’s wrong with your mother? I didn’t see a profile. Is she competent? If not, her decisions may not be sound. I’d seek legal advise for your options if you feel you are entitled to compensation.

Did you earn any money last year? Quickly consult with tax expert to see if you qualify for any tax refund or credits. For some things you just need to file to collect. (Check into EIC)
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Reply to Sunnygirl1
Mikuhatsune01 Oct 15, 2020
Sorry, ok basically mom is in the hospital, there sending her to the nursing home for rehab and treatment for mrsa. After the treatment she will go live with the cousin...But I know her, she will refuse care and demand to be released into my cousins care.

She was in a nursing home last year, they diegnosed her with dementia. She got out of the nursing home (last year) because she threatened to call a lawyer.
Do you have a job? Do you have your own place to live or are you living with your Mom? If she started taking your name off of everything last year after your brought her "home" a year ago, that would have been your first indication things were not going well. Is the "home" you brought your mother home to her own home?
It does look like, for whatever reason, your Mother had decided to put your cousin first, and perhaps to move to be with her?
For myself, I would use this time that Mom will likely to in rehab, to find a job, and my own place. I would then vacate the premises (if they are hers) and leave her to your Cousin. Get busy now and at once.
I will be honest with you that on the forum we do see more often than not that someone moving into the home of their elder to do full time care for WHATEVER length of time often sees them ending up homeless and jobless.
So sorry this has happened to you.
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Reply to AlvaDeer

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