What to do if your loved one is mostly always sleeping and doesn't want to eat, but is taking little sips of liquids and is down 86 lbs?

Have you thought about hospice?
She might be ready.

I'm sorry. It does sound like her body is shutting down. As Cashew mentioned, you should speak to the doc about calling hospice to ensure she--and you--are assisted as much as possible.

Sparkle, If she is not accepting food or beverages, it may well be that she is beginning to transition. Call the director of the rehab or the social worker at the rehab or the charge nurse and discuss the possibility for hospice care. Visit with your mom if you are able and see if she will accept food from you. She may also be disoriented from the move from hospital to rehab. It's hard to suss out exactly what's going on and it's frustrating and frightening. Hugs to you.

I spoke with the charge nurse last night and she said she's not going to go during the night it's just that she's very frail and from what I gathered she means there isn't going to be a cure . She told me this place is the best place she is in. I was so happy when she was getting moved to the rehabilitation 😞

I would venture to say yes it is. My mother is the same age and in SN. She is bedbound. In the past 2 years she was put on palliative care twice only to be removed from it as she rallied.

She is making a choice with eating less and that may be the way she goes out. That is not a bad ending and her reaching 92 is an admirable age. My mother is living with a bedsore that has to have the dressing changed daily and it is deep. She is on round the clock pain medications. Often after visiting her depending on her energy level that day I wonder how long she can endure. I hope you are able to find peace with whatever the future brings you.

Sparkle, Hospice doesn't mean moving to another place. They can do it where she's at. And it doesn't mean that she's dying within the next week. it is within the next 6 months. AND it is paid for by medicare.
My Mom is having home hospice.

OP, I’m not sure where the charge nurse fits into the hierarchy of Rehab, and why s/he would say that M is in the right place. If you were ‘so happy’ about Rehab, perhaps you are thinking that M will get better, come home, go to AL, and the comment was to say ‘no that’s not what is likely to happen’.

If M ‘isn't able to do any rehab’ then she won’t be kept in rehab. Perhaps you should look at the ‘end of life’ information, because that’s what it sounds like.

PS I wanted to send a hug, and couldn't work out how to do it. Lots of love, Margaret

OP, you just said that you are clueless, and this is not the time for that! If you click on Care Topics at the top of your screen, you get an alphabet. Click on E for End of Life, R for Rehab, etc etc and do a quick post-graduate degree in what is coming. Love, Margaret

I'm sorry. It may well be the end, as other members have mentioned.

Have hospice put in place.. they will take care of making sure she is comfortable. They are the best support you can get for her and you !

Medicare does pay for Hospice services but it does not pay for the facility. As said, Grandma will not be able to stay in Rehab if she is not able to do therapy. Its not skilled nursing which is where Grandmom probably needs to be. Medicare will not pay for Skilled Nursing. This will need to be private pay or applying for Medicaid if she has no money.

You need to talk to the Director of Nursing and the doctor in charge of Grandmom. Ask about Hospice. Ask if they can be brought in to evaluate Grandmom. She has been thru alot in the last 2 months. She may be transitioning, the doctor will order hospice.

There should be a SW you can talk to. You need to learn everything you can. The one thing at 91 I would not allow is a feeding tube. If she is transitioning this will do more harm then good.

Aunt got a psychic reading this morning . She never said anything about information about anything and she said my grandfather is sorry because he is taking her he wants her to be with him now . When we went to visit her she looked worse than ever . She says she wants to go home so that is getting arranged . 😞💔

It does sound like her body is shutting down.
If it has not yet been suggested that Hospice be called in I would do that.
You, the family and your loved one (grandma I am assuming) will get care and support. She will get all the supplies she needs and the goal of Hospice is comfort care.
This can be a difficult time for family and Hospice will help.
If her body is not processing foods or fluids to continue giving IV's can do more harm than good. The excess fluids can pool beneath the skin causing problems, or it can create problems for the kidneys that may not be functioning properly.
((hugs)) for you all through this time.

This is a sign of impending death. God Bless all of you 💜