I see so many people in the NH where mom is and I question the quality of their lives. I know I have no right to do this; it is not my place and there is a Higher Power that has a plan for all of us. But what about days when things seem so hopeless, optimism seems a dim memory; the elderly seem deeply lost in a world we can't enter. I force myself to visit mom every single time because the sadness just engulfs me sometimes. Often I cry after I've left, walking toward my car. I feel selfish and guilty and helpless and so very sad. Does anyone else experience this? Sometimes all the tricks and pep talks I give myself just fall flat.