How do you keep from having hard feelings when caring the whole load?

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I am caring the whole load of my parents they live close and I have to stay around the clock ony getting to leave a short period at a time. i love them but am getting very tired of the deal where one does all the work and everything is split down the middle. I loss my patience and seems like everything starts an argeuement. My parents have been horders and the last thing I got mad about was a kitchen sink of all things a tree destroyed my kitchen last week and my antique sink was was chipped and will have to be redone. My parents own my grandparents home which has a sink in it like that one. I told them I was going to look and use it if it would work they didn't want me to do that. I know it is just a sink and I can get mine reglazed at a good price but the issue I had was I have saved them all the property and all their money which they are not rich and them staying home his Nurseing Home bill would have been over 180 thousand dollars if he had stayed after he broke his hip if he had lived this long which I don't think he would have both would have to go to the nurseing home today if I walked out for I am the only one who will take care of them. It is not about a sink but I have did so much and ask for so little I am lossing m patience as i don't even know who i am anymore when I look in the mirror if you didn't know different you would think I had went on drugs I look so rough. My husband rather be stay with them than they stay with us which they wouldn't do. He mows their yard and also the grandparents homeplace. They would be pennyless today and both in the nurseing home but I couldn't do that. I never did what I did for money but haveing the other child be someone special which cmes in some but talks really bad about them and how did I become the bad guy. I have hard feeling for this has not been the first time they won't let me have something I could use but let me do for them. They do almost everyone that way. They are really good people and are very honest I just want to know how do I keep doing this 24 hours a day without hard feeling toward them. i do love them but I am burn out I don't think it will go on forever and I don't want them to die but I need help so bad but my mother is shy and if I bring in an outsider I would have to stay with them. the rest of the family has starting coming in and sitting a hour or so while I went home to clen up some of the mess that the tree destroyed the kitchen. I know a horder can not let anything go I have been one but I have learned to give things away. I have been the only one on their side for a long time I just need to learn how to hold on.

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Welcome...you are doing an amazing job and I am sure your parents appreciate everything done. However, it is impossible for one person to do all that you do 24/7 without sacrificing themselves.

Do you have family/siblings that could come in a few hours every day and maybe take weekends to give you relief? Contact their doctor for an evaluation for Home Health Care. Call your Senior Citizens Agency.

This is not a job for one person! Your physical and emotional wellbeing is at risk. Some will say take a walk, read, whatever; but you need to not deal with this for a few hours or a few days every week. Explain to your Mom that you are tired and really need assistance each day...or you will no longer be able to care for them.

I know it is hard but sometimes you absolutely have to do what is best for YOU! Go back and read some of the other threads about caregiver burnout and difficult situations. Come back often. You will be loved and supported.

I wish you well. God bless!
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