Five months after the death of my dear mother, I sob whenever I hear the beautiful classical music we both loved. Will that ever end? I am retired, so I don't have many demands on my time anymore, and I find myself crying about everything at least two or three times a day. Is this normal? I have always been empathetic and cry at the drop of a pin, but this is ridiculous. I can't seem to sing without my voice cracking, can't look at photos - can't do anything I love to do without breaking down.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
my mother died one month a go, and fell the same way. I am tried everything, support group, therapy. and I hope one day I can fell better, I still have my father that I have to take care, but is very hard. Gad bless you.
Helpful Answer (0)

How loving your answers all are! Thank you.
I never had this level of grief for my father (30 years ago), although I loved him dearly, too. But I've been told, and have read, that with a mother it never really goes away. So:
(1) It IS still normal at this point, which is what I was worrying about.
(2) There's always counseling. (I always thought my journal was good enough.)
(3) I WILL be able to enjoy all of life's pleasures again , and not turn into a slobbering mess every time I do something lovely and fine that reminds me of her.
And (4), there's always Cadbury's.
(By George, I think she's got it... she's got it... she's got it!)

Thank you so much for taking the time to send your kind thoughts and answers!
Helpful Answer (2)

For me, nothing so noble. It's packets of Cadbury's Mini-Eggs - my mother's go-to treats for everyday purposes. You get used to anxious looks from fellow-shoppers as you stand there in the supermarket with your chin wobbling and your eyes full of tears.

Five months isn't nearly long enough to get over the loss of someone you loved so much. Be kind to yourself, and keep listening and remembering. It will get easier. Hugs.
Helpful Answer (4)

I lost my mother 4 years ago this April. It took me just about one year before I was able to think about her without crying as you realize how many things you shared - little everyday things - that send you over the edge.
But as the poster above stated, soon you'll be able to think about those things and smile instead of cry. Having a brother who felt the same way about my mother helped me enormously as we could talk to each other about the good times we had and the terrible time of her illness that had just passed. As did the fact that I know I was a good daughter to her. My mom died at 89 after being ill for 1 1/2 years. What left us that day was not the person my mother would have wanted to be-she was immobile, forgetful and just miserable. What was on the "other side" was way better than here on earth. Take comfort that you had the years with her - the laughs, hugs, yes even the disagreements- those memories will see you through. Your mom will never leave you, she's in your heart.
Again it took me a good year before I accepted that she was gone from this earth, but never gone from my heart. My thoughts are with you.
Helpful Answer (3)

Dear musicismymuse,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved mother. I'm so sorry for your loss. I think its only natural to still cry and cry many times a day over anything that reminds you of your cherished mom.

Its been four months for me and I do the same thing. Its okay to let the tears out whenever we feel like it because its part of the grieving process.

I'm trying different things to help me cope with my first major loss. I've tried counselling, joining a support group, reading books, different websites, I feel I need something to help me understand all my emotions.

Thinking of you.
Helpful Answer (4)

Your love of your mother will never end. Your missing her will never end. But gradually things that remind you of her will make you smile and not cry. Over time you will celebrate all the memories of her you have, and not focus so much on her loss.

If this doesn't start happening in the next six months or so, you might consider some counseling to help you over that hump. But I think what you are experiencing right now is pretty normal.
Helpful Answer (4)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter