I’m caretaker for my mother. She had a massive stroke on Mother’s Day last year and is now unable to live by herself. She also has a history of heart attacks(2), heart disease, high bp, and was diagnosed with dementia in February.
For the past week or so, I’ve noticed mom is behaving differently. She’s crabby, very moody, and hateful with my grandkids whom I take care of part time. She’s also mixing up names, having memory lapses, and is noticeably weaker. She’s also sleeping a lot more. I’m not silly and I know what dementia is. What I don’t or didn’t realize is how quickly mom can change. Is this normal? Or what is normal? I don’t know if I know what normal is anymore.
I have started checking into getting mom into memory care or a nursing home. It’s getting to be too much for me to handle now. I’m just worried about how she is going to handle all of the changes that are coming.
Your mother has had a cardiac and/or cerebral "event." There was probably no particular sign of it at the time, but you can see its footprints in her abrupt change of behaviours and level of fatigue. I wouldn't say normal, but it is so common that you would almost expect it; and, one might add, your mother's doctors could have done well to point you towards information that prepared you for it. Sigh. They didn't warn me, either...
Clinical investigations done now may or may not tell you anything useful and probably aren't worth the trouble to her. BUT you must get proper medical advice as soon as possible, because it may be that her body is gearing itself up for a Big One that could be prevented. I should pick up the phone now if I were you.
I did get in contact with the local Senior linkage line. I am going to talk to her dr as well as getting some tours at the nursing homes near my home. I was told the dr will sign her into the N.H. Which would be better than me and my sister having to do it.
There comes a time when time is of the essence regarding placing the person with dementia in AL or a Nursing Home as it really can become too much to handle and affect your health as carer. You have to be strong concerning the transition as well as it will not be easy for her to make the adjustment and it may take her some time to settle.
Eventually though things settle down and you can visit without feeling stressed out.
My mum is sleeping more and more. She has periods where she really deteriorates and can hardly walk, has falls and finds it difficult to feed herself and I think she is nearing the end, then lo and behold, she begins walking fine again, manages to eat food herself etc.
It is a strange disease and a cruel one.
Good luck and I hope I have helped.
I was watching my grandson when I had to take Mom in. He was 20 months, she was 85. It was only 2 weeks till daughter found a daycare but it was like taking care of 2 toddlers. I would have preferred my Gson. I put Mom in daycare just to get a few hours to ourselves. They picked her up and dropped her off. Fed her breakfast and lunch. Showered her for me. It was nice. Eventually, I placed her in an AL.