Is it true that if you place a parent in a nursing home, the state will have access to all their assets?

My original answer said ‘You have the sympathy of many of our posters’. Because it doesn’t sound like that from the other answers, I’m adding that everything they say is true, but that they have so much more experience that it doesn’t come as a shock to them. Another part of the changes that come as a shock to many people is that medicos feel that they must or ought to keep people’s bodies alive when their minds are dead and their quality of life is nil – for years. My GP said that very few of his patients over age 85 would last long without the medications they take every day - just another shock?

Passing down wealth is not a luxury the everyday family has the ability to do. Nothing is free, if your mother needs taxpayers to pay for her care why should her children get anything? If you want access to her assets then get your family together to pay for her care until she dies. Then when she passes you can split the house and whatever.

It amazes me how many people feel elder care should be “free” it is as if they feel SNF and the staff should not be paid for their work. Do you work for free at your current job? Why do you feel your mother should not have to pay her way?

Your question baffles me.
Your Mom has worked hard to accumulate the assets that will care for HER in her old age, in her times of need.
The STATE will provide for your Mom when all of her assets are gone. She will then apply for medicaid through a program funded by the taxpayer of both Federal Gov and State Gov. That occurs when she has spend ALL of her savings and income, but still is alive.
Your Mom didn't work all this time so that she could leave money for her children after she dies. It is up to her children to work for their own money, for their own children while they are being raised, for their own old age.
Do you want the STATE to pay for your Mom when she has her own funds???? By the State I mean do you want me to pay for your Mom when she has her own money, through my taxes? Do you want me to pay for her vacations as well?
The nursing home is very very expensive. It will likely take more money than mom was able to accumulate in an entire lifetime to support Mom for some years in care.
Might I ask you who you think should pay for your Mom's care if she indeed has her own assets? I would be interested in hearing.

Kids have no rights to their parents' money or an 'inheritance' until the parents have died and there is money left over. The money your mom worked hard for all of her life is for her CARE in old age, in reality. That's what we work for, all of us, not to leave our children well off while we struggle. #Truth

Didn't your mother work hard to have the means to take care of herself on old age and not be a burden on her kids?

My mom (born in 1923) supported her widowed mom with her earnings until she married in 1949. (My mom started working at the age of 17;do the math).

My parents needed to provide monetary support for neices whose mom died if TB in 1945; my dad's parents who had cancer and died in '60 and '62) and my gma who needed support due to her widowed state and after she fell and became disabled in 1965.

This idea that what folks have saved gets passed on to the next gerenation is a myth. Those monies are there for their care.

Yes, it seems horrible. But if no one will care for them, who is supposed to pay for their care? Me? Your neighbors? I know - I was thinking my sister and I might split a little inheritance but looks like that ship is quickly sailing away.

Hi! Things have changed a lot since most of us (and our parents) grew up. Back then, life expectancy was shorter, fewer women worked and instead many cared for parents at home. It was quite common for men to die within a year or two of retirement, with their savings intact. Parents ‘saved’ to ‘hand on an inheritance’ to their children.

Without any fanfare or announcement, it’s all changed. Parents are now supposed to save for their own care as they age, and this might be for 30 years after retirement. Care is very very expensive, partly because it’s usually run as a profitable business. Parents have to pay for care by spending their assets down to about $2000, and then can apply for government ‘free’ care on Medicaid. If parents give money away so that they can claim Medicaid sooner, there is ‘look back’ for about 5 years. The people who got the ‘gifts’ are forced to cough up, or family are forced to care in the home without help.

Of course, the details are complicated, but that’s basically the way it is now. It’s a shock to a lot of people. Many old people wish that they’d spent more in early retirement, to have a good time, instead of saving it up to pay to the government. You have the sympathy of many of our posters. Best wishes in finding your way around this ‘Brave New World’, Margaret.