I think that there is NO one-size-fits-all when it comes to dementia.
We all try to make sense of something that is, well, insensible.
Sadly, a lot of hurt feelings can occur when a LO begins to 'lose it'--my own mom, who has not been formally dxed with dementia most DEFINITELY has some serious deficits and can't carry conversations with more than maybe 2 'streams of thought'. Sometimes she very kind with me and then the next time I speak to or see her, she's kind of mean, or cranky. She is never this way with any of my sibs, just me.
IDK. I try not to take it personally anymore, but it still stings when she is unkind to me.
As the brain 'dies' or even 'dries out', cognitive function changes and there's not a lot you can do to ameliorate that. Just say to yourself 'this isn't the person I know.' Yeah, I know, easy to say, hard to put into play.
My Aunt was in a car accident back in the late 60s. She went thru the Windshield. It caused some brain damage. She couldn't talk for a long time. My Mom did not drive at the time so she relied on my Aunts Ex to take her to see my Aunt, her sister. My Aunt literally hated her Ex and was furious that Mom was with him. Mom tried to explain, but my Aunt wouldn't have it. Of course this upset Mom and she talked to the Dr. He said they will always take it out on the one the love. Maybe because they feel that person is more likely to forgive them.
There really is no normal in dementia. And yes, this happens. We have seen strong examples here on Forum. Sometimes a mistaken loving of someone, sometimes a mistaken hating. Sometimes it passes. Sometimes it doesn't. One OP has a husband who is hated because "he stole my Christmas cards". Dementia is as individual in its manifestations as a fingerprint.
Yes. What you'll sometimes see is the demented elder turn against the family member who's doing the most caregiving for her while being sweet as pie to everyone else. I've seen it in my own mother who lashes out at me but treats others like gold.
Thank you for responding. That is exactly what is happening in my situation. We've always had such a good relationship. Now she seems so angry with me and is making horrible accusations to other members of the family, and anyone else who will listen, about me. She honestly just seems to hate me now. It's heartwrenching.
We all try to make sense of something that is, well, insensible.
Sadly, a lot of hurt feelings can occur when a LO begins to 'lose it'--my own mom, who has not been formally dxed with dementia most DEFINITELY has some serious deficits and can't carry conversations with more than maybe 2 'streams of thought'. Sometimes she very kind with me and then the next time I speak to or see her, she's kind of mean, or cranky. She is never this way with any of my sibs, just me.
IDK. I try not to take it personally anymore, but it still stings when she is unkind to me.
As the brain 'dies' or even 'dries out', cognitive function changes and there's not a lot you can do to ameliorate that. Just say to yourself 'this isn't the person I know.' Yeah, I know, easy to say, hard to put into play.
My Aunt was in a car accident back in the late 60s. She went thru the Windshield. It caused some brain damage. She couldn't talk for a long time. My Mom did not drive at the time so she relied on my Aunts Ex to take her to see my Aunt, her sister. My Aunt literally hated her Ex and was furious that Mom was with him. Mom tried to explain, but my Aunt wouldn't have it. Of course this upset Mom and she talked to the Dr. He said they will always take it out on the one the love. Maybe because they feel that person is more likely to forgive them.