Is it always better for a person to use their funds to pay for their own care? - AgingCare.com

Is it always better for a person to use their funds to pay for their own care?

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I put this out as a question concerning financial matters also.

I'm not sure how to fully describe what I'm asking but I'll give it a try.
My 90 year old father is living in his own home. He does have memory loss and is dependent on family members to pay his bills, get groceries, do laundry, etc. His physical health over all is pretty good. He is using a cane more. He is no longer driving and just retired from barbering after 67 years.
His desire is to stay in his home. Fortunately he has funds to have paid care if and when it is needed.

A couple of siblings have mentioned to me that he should have made it so his money was "safe" so that if he had to go to a nursing home, he would not have to pay for that care out of his own money. My take is that having his own money he has more choices for care and for a longer time to be able to stay in his home.

They claim they are not interested in what they would be "inheriting" but the idea of paying with his own money for care in a nursing home bothers them. My Dad never had an interest in retaining his assets/money to be able to give to his children.

I look at the money he has been able to save as something fortunate as it may give us more alternatives for his care. That I think should be the priority and not how much is left at the end of his life for distributing to those who happen to be related to him (though they claim that is not what interests them.) He came in this life with nothing and if he leaves this life with nothing (which technically everyone does as they no longer need worldly goods), so be it. It's more important if the care and where he receives it is in line with his wishes and I think having his own money to do that is more possible to do if he is not dependent on Medicaid to pay the bills. I'm not saying nursing homes don't do a good job, but it's nice to be able to have other choices, if possible. And at some time he would have to go someone else to live as he could no longer be cared at home and it comes out of his own pocket, so be it. Am I missing something in my thinking?

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I had a whole diatribe written out but I have edited it to this...I think people have been trying to shelter their money from the government as long as there have been taxes. Savvy investors or those well enough off to hire those with the necessary knowledge incorporate their businesses to avoid personal liability, or set up trusts or take advantage of every legal loophole out there, while the average poor schmo just blindly pay and pays. Does it somehow make us morally superior because we pay more than strictly necessary?
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"They claim they are not interested in what they would be "inheriting" but the idea of paying with his own money for care in a nursing home bothers them." Sounds to me like the kettle calling the pot black.

It is too late now, but the best way that he could have protected his money would have been to have purchased long term care insurance.

I assume that you are his durable POA? His money really needs to be spent on his care for it not, he will not qualify for medicaid which at 90 might be a non issue.
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Whether he stays at home or goes to a nursing home he will be spending his own money until it's almost all gone until medicaid covers his costs. There is all sorts of info out there as to hiding, gifting, trusting etc to get on medicaid, and I'm sure people are sometimes successful, put I think you should play by the book.
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Here is my take on this situation: your father may be fine at home with caregivers for now. But if he falls and breaks his hip and ends up having to go into a nh after rehab (which is what happened to my mom), our situation was that we had many more choices in terms of facilities because she was able to "private pay" out of her own funds for several years.

I think your well-meaning siblings are watching too many day time infomercials.
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