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My dad remarried this woman after only knowing her a few months, he was very vulnerable from a recent divorce. After seeing her for a few months we all received letters telling us we were being disowned and replaced by her and her 2 kids. And now her kids each have 2 kids of their own. None of his kids were told of his wedding or invited. It has now been 18 years since I have seen my father. Others have ran into him here and there and spoke very briefly, and we know it's not him and her not allowing him to be around us, he's scared of her and her 2 grown kids. This is sick and demented, what kind of people do this to a family? We all have his address but if we send a letter she writes on the outside of the envelope return to sender and do not write again we do not want to hear from you!!! We all have saved our letters. Me being a nurse I know this is abuse and she is a psychopath but I need to know what I and my siblings and grandchildren can do to get our dad back? Thank you all in advance

Jamie, just curious why you are saving that time is running out? Your Dad is only 76 and he is still working. Dad could live to be 100 which isn't unusual in this day and age. Thankfully you can visit Dad for a short time at work.

Hope & Jamie, I am always curious why so many Step-Moms ignore the grown children of her husband. Did everyone get off on the wrong foot? Especially if Dad left Mom for this woman. Or if Mom passed, Dad married quickly. Someone needs to be the first to hand over the olive branch to try to get into the good graces of the Step-Mom if it isn't too late.
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oh my gosh, I have the exact story!!..I come from 5 siblings who all got letters as well...between us we have 11 grandkids whom of which most my father hasn't met because of our stepmom, for lack of better words, and I have 3 grands, greats to him...I go to his place of employment so I can see/talk to him briefly, say our I love you's, catch up the best we can in a few mins...plz help!!! this is so heartbreaking to us all.he'll b 76 this yr and our time is running out!!...
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18 years is a long time to tolerate this treatment. Can I ask why now, all of the sudden, you and your family have decided not to tolerate it any longer? Have you actually been legally disowned or is that just a term you’re using?

You always have the right to involve Adult Protective Services, but you need to have some proof he’s actually being emotionally or physically abused and that his wife is truly a “psychopath” or if that’s just your opinion because you’re angry and don’t like her.  If you’ve had no contact for almost 20 years, you haven’t really witnessed how she treats him. APS is bound to investigate, but unless they actually see signs of abuse, they’ll write it off as a war between the families and they won’t get involved. If Dad is being well cared for, safe, clean and reasonably happy, they won’t get involved. If the place where he’s living is a mess and so is he, then you might have grounds. If that, God forbid is the case, are you prepared to go to court for guardianship of him? If he’s mentally impaired, will you or someone else in your family take over his care at one of your homes or finance his placement in a facility?

You and your family can always consult with an Elder Law Attorney to see if you have any rights. If Dad is impaired, you might have a case. But if he is of sound mind and agrees with the way his wife is handling things, there probably isn’t much you can do.
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