When I hear about some famous person passing away on the news and my first thought is "So lucky."
I'm pretty much anxious all the time now. I finally get why people drink. I have never had the desire. I don't like the taste and it makes my head hurt. But it does take away the anxiety for a hour or two. It's just gone. I'm not drunk and I realize nothing has actually gotten better but the deep feeling of the despair lifts for a while. Don't worry. I'm not guzzling 6 packs all day long. I keep it to at most one beer a day. Some days not even that. I drink it after they go to bed and before the first nighttime potty wake up break. A 6 pack lasts about 2 weeks.
It sucks that there is no one left to talk to. Some of my friends hung on there pretty long considering I haven't seen them in person in years. But even the hardiest ones have stopped returning calls.