My mother has been living in an old aged home in a little town in south Africa. I am the only child and I live in Sweden, and am over retirement age but continue to work to support her.
She was very ill in July, when I came to visit her, so I decided to stay and be closer to her because we all thought she would die within the month! I am without an income and relying on my pension and tithing blessings!!
She has bounced back, eats like a horse, is as stubborn as ever, and still demanding to leave the home...
I have arthritis and could not physically take care of her myself, or afford the cost of full time caregivers, so I cannot consider having her at home.
My problem is that she insists on climbing round, over or through the cot-side on her bed at night and sometimes has falls. She cannot sit quietly in a chair, but stands up and wants to walk (get out) every 5 minutes - I just hate having her in a restraining chair when I'm not there. I can understand that she is frustrated over losing her independence, but she refuses to (or cannot) accept the situation and does not accept the staff's efforts to encourage her, involve her in crafts, visiting others, reading, listening to music or news or sports - her prevrious greatest interests. She just sits and is miserable!!
Another problem is that I cannot decide on what is best ... I want to spend a lot of time with her, but is this disrupting her routine? Should I leave her with the caregivers to help her eat? Should I just visit 2 - 3 hours a day instead of 5-6?
Basically - I just don't know what to do for the best!
She has trouble talking - cannot verbalise or write what she thinks, but she seems to understand almost everything I talk about, if I do it slowly and in short sentences.
I would be SO grateful to get any advice on how to deal with this situation.
I have planned to be in South Africa with her until end of January and then return to sweden... I have to prepare her for this as well...
Thanks so much to anyone who has taken the time to read this and give me some feedback :)