How do I care for the Mom that abused me while protecting my own child from the same emotional scars?

greenkat66, I just read your profile.... your Mom is only 68 years old, that is quite young. Her ailments shouldn't make her need you to be her full-time Caregiver. Any chance she could go into independent living, and learn to care for herself? Maybe then she will get up, move around, and not be so dependent on her wheelchair as it sounds like because of her size that is why she isn't mobile. That way she can make new friends, and you can still care for her with helping her with laundry, groceries, but she wouldn't be around the children 24/7. Just a thought.

Katrina I think the Lord is trying to tell you something which is why you were led here to ask this questions. The majority of the posters here are mothers and grandmothers and when there is conflict with the elder they are caring for it is their children they want to protect. You have two autistic boys and a little girl that you brought into this world. They are your first responsibility and they are the people to shelter under God's wing. It would be wonderful if your mother also found God's love but she has to be the one to find it and while she is abusing those closest to her she is not looking very hard. Keep praying and ask god to show you how to find answers not what to do. he will lead you to a fork in the road but it is up to you to find out which pather to follow. He gives us the tools so we can put in the effort. this is all about hard work not winning the lottery. Blessings we are all here for you.

I personally feel you need to 'honor your child', and there are many ways for you mom to receive care without you doing it...There is God's love in NH's too..... take care of your child......FIRST.