I have POA and Medical POA. She is in an Independent living senior facility, but needs more care. She can't realize it because she can't remember that she forgets!

You are saying she needs more care.  You have the medical POA.  If she is having memory issues, exercise your authority and have her evaluated by a medical professional.   They can inform her she needs more care.  She may not remember, but you will have professional acknowledgement in hand.   You wouldn't leave a 4 or 5 year-old child alone to care for themselves would you?   It's hard to face, but our LOs become like children again if they have dementia/Alzheimer's, memory loss and/or just plain old age.   You already have your mom's permission to make the best possible health care decisions for her, go ahead and do it.  I wish you and your mom the best.
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to wakankasha
Kathy2000 Sep 12, 2018
Thank you! I took her to her regular doctor who talked her into going. She is not happy though. I love her and feel terrible, but she will be moving 5 minutes away from me into a beautiful place. I know she will miss her friends.
See 1 more reply
If you can use an instance of a documented problem you may be able to get your mother on board. My mom has almost no short term memory and used to tell me that she didn't need help too. Then she paid her bills by writing checks on a closed account. The bank she had used for decades was purchased by a larger bank and all the local branches closed so Mom had to open an account with a different bank.

I could lay the returned check letter down with the check enclosed letter from the closing of the old account and Mom could see that she had written that check after she had closed the old account. It's not anyone's opinion - mine or hers.

You cannot force your mother into memory care if she is still competent and if her only mental impairment is memory she may still be legally competent.

Another path would be to say that even if you are jumping the gun wanting a higher care level, that _you_ would feel so much better if Mom had more attention. Mom may care more about relieving your stress than avoiding AL/MC. Touring ALs may also allow Mom to see her lifestyle won't change much from the IL.

Good Luck!
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to TNtechie
Kathy2000 Sep 12, 2018
Thank you for responding! Mom already toured the beautiful facility and said she hated it. I already take care of all her finances so it is a matter of her health at this point.
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter