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He has mRCC. Right before starting radiation, he broke the leg the cancer metastasized to. Following surgery to put a rod in his leg, he went to a nursing home. Due to Covid, he was isolated for a month. Our only contact was by phone. I could look into his window from outdoors, if an aide was available to get him in a wheelchair. He was depressed, lost 37 pounds in 5 weeks, and did not have adequate pain management.
It has been a nightmare trying to stay connected to all of the doctors involved in his many health issues and the nursing home staff.
I am struggling to deal with his sundowning as an offsite spouse.

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Once a week visits probably has nothing to do with his sundowning. He would sundown anyway. That is a lot of weight to lose in a short period of time. Has he been evaluated for hospice? Is he on any medications for the sundowning? Anti-anxiety meds work for many to reduce the symptoms. My mom's sundowning behaviors required anti-psychotic and they worked very well most of the time.
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Dear dsykes,

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. It is so hard on families right now with the health pandemic. I found this website with some tips that I hope will help.

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/tips-coping-sundowning
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