My dad is 93 and a WWII veteran diabetic on insulin, who recently had to be hospitalized for a wound resulting from cellulitis in his legs. The hospital referred him to a SNF where he seems to have rapidly declined. He was using a walker when admitted to the hospital and could use it the first day at the facility. Then it seemed he just got worse, with symptoms of gout (later dismissed as arthritis) and recently nausea. He is unable to use his walker and doesn't want to go to PT, so they do his excercises while he is in bed. He is also fully incontinent.
Before being hospitalized, Dad refused to take a shower. He insisted that his military type washing was enough. He refused home health aid for showering, etc. And was adamant that his odor was just how old people smelled.
I am an only child and my mother/his wife died in 1975. I have no grid for the steps that I need to take to make sure that I get the best care for him, and no siblings on which I can depend. In this situation, my spouse is also no help. I am unable to provide the care he needs in my home. I work three days a week and have 90 minute RT commute.
Our resources are very limited, and the funds that Dad has are just enough to pay for funeral expenses, (whenever that day should come) and to pay off his bills.
I have been advised to get him qualified for a Medicaid bed. I do have power of attorney, so I plan to purchase a pre-paid funeral package. While he has received some VA benefits, he does not qualify for full VA services. He had both Medicare and Blue Cross supplemental, but neither will cover nursing home care, when the SNF benefit runs out.
In the meantime, especially since the lock down, he has stopped eating the food at the SNF. I haven't been able to see him, so we talk via cell every day. He tells me that he hates the food and won't eat it. He drinks milk and the rest of the food, he sends it back.
We are originally from KY and he goes in and out mentally, thinking that he still lives there and is just inpatient at the VA hospital in KY.
Any advice, references, and/or tips for any of this is greatly appreciated.
Running in place.