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Son had a massive heart attack in Nov of 2020. Is paralyzed from waist down, incontinent with bowels and urine. Has high blood pressure, on insulin, diabetes and cognitive brain problems.
Before this he was a strapping 6’4” 220 pound guy. Worked everyday.
I just feel like I would like to have him in our home but know that at our age that is not possible. We couldn’t provide all the help he needs.
Also, he is now self paying and soon his savings will be diminished. Then I guess he will have to go on Medicaid.

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Thanks for your concern.
The facility he is in only has 6 Medicaid beds. 4 are for female residents and 2 for male residents. They told us John is on the list for Medicaid but that if he isn't ready for it when a bed opens , we would have to transfer him to a NH that accepts pending Medicaid, Then if he is on Medicaid and a bed opens at the NH he is now, he would be first on the list. Hope we don't have to move him and then move him again. I know I can't expect miracles with that but can hope anyway.
My husband is his P.O.A, for finances and health and really does keep on top of things. We were told to apply for Medicaid once his finances are down to around $50,000.
Another little glitch here is that John lived in Ca. (we are in Illinois) and still has a home and two cars. When this virus lock down gets lifted, we will have to go to Ca. and take care of all that.
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Reply to Sandi1128
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worriedinCali May 14, 2020
You might as well sell the house & cars now and use the money to continue to self pay so he can stay in the facility he is in. He won’t be eligible for Medicaid until he‘s to down to $2,000 in assets. And he won’t be able allowed more than $2k in the bank.
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Appreciate your concern .
Thanks for the heads up info. We are in Illinois and were told when his finances get down to around $50,000 to apply for Medicaid. That amount won't take too long to spend down I don't think.
We will check on a prepaid funeral. Now am wondering how much you can have at all after you receive Medicaid. They must have to give something for personal items you may need in the NH?
Another little glitch here is that John lived in Ca. (we are in Illinois) and still has a home and two cars. When this virus lock down gets lifted, we will have to go to Ca. and take care of all that.
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Reply to Sandi1128
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So sorry for your son. We are a support group. We may have different caregiving needs but we can and do help each other. Venting is allowed.

If Medicaid is going to be needed, do not wait till the last minute. In my State you are given 90 days to spend down and supply all paperwork needed. With my Mom I started the application with Medicaid in April. She moved into the facility May 1st, paid privately May and June and Medicaid took over July 1st. I kept on top of everything. The NH was not involved in the application. I supplied all the paperwork and in June confirmed that the caseworker had everything he needed. I left it up to no one else. To help with the spend down, you may consider a prepaid funeral. Check with Medicaid to see what they allow put aside for this. It differs every state.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I'm sorry for you seeing your son suffer. Realize that he is in a better place now than what you can provide given his medical needs. What you can do is make sure the transition to Medicaid goes smoothly once his funds are exhausted. Make sure the facility he is in (assuming he is comfortable there) will accept him as a Medicaid patient and your are satisfied with the care they give to Medicaid residents. If not, start preparing and planning on what to do when his money runs out by looking at other facilities that would be suitable. Make sure someone is on top of applying for Medicaid as well, don't assume the facility will take care of everything. Good Luck.
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