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Dad's 90, suffering from depression, dementia and other issues, was in IL, now in in AL several states away from me. His 70-yo stepdaughter, who has health issues, looks after him since his wife, her mother died about 3 years ago, leaving him lonely and devastated. He attemted suicide a couple of weeks ago and is somewhat stable now, though emotionally fragile. I understand he is back in the AL facility on the mental care floor, which is a lockdown area as he is high-risk, but he is not confined to a single room, which is good as he's a bit claustrophobic. My anguish lies in the fact that I can't get away to go see him, probably not ever. It's been 4 years since I was last out to see him and I have stayed in touch by phone. But I am now several states away, raising two teens in a household that include a working husband and his 90- yo mother plus a dog, several cats and a flock of hens. MIL can't manage on her own. Oldest teen attends academy and boards away at school. The other child is a 12-yo boy, useful, follows directions but doesn't cook or plan meals, and running the household would be a bit much for 90-yo Granny. I'm needed here, in short, and Dad probably would not know if I was there. But I can't help feeling torn and sad. I miss my Dad, and it feels as if he's gone already. I feel he won't last long, there will be no memorial service at his request, and I've probably already said my last goodbye and I love you. So I'm sad, I'm grieving, and if anyone can tell me how to handle these feelings, or just want to pray for me, that would be nice. Dad did not believe in God or an afterlife, just oblivion, as far as I know, though I am a Christian, which makes it kind of hard. I'm afraid I won't get to share an afterlife with him and I was looking forward to doing some fishing and hiking and camping with him in the earth made new in our new bodies.... but I haven't given up, I am still praying for him! God is good and as long as there is life there is hope. Thank y'all for letting me vent and weep, you're an awesome bunch of folks.

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I have an update, good news! Dad has recovered enough that he is off the mental care floor and is back in his old room in Assisted Living!!! And ( big news, drum roll, please), I got to talk to him on th phone this evening! I am overjoyed, I was so afraid I had spoken to him for the last time already and he wasn't going to recover this time.
Just proves again that our God hears and answers prayer, and His name is Wonderful! Still praying for Dad's conversion so that he may enjoy *eternal* life, but am thanking God for the answer to that prayer as well, bc I know I am asking in accordance with His will and that's one of the conditions for answered prayer!
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Teresa914 Feb 2019
I'm so happy to hear your good news! I'll continue to pray for your dad that he will accept Christ as his Lord and Savior before he passes. Prayers for you, too.
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How about Skype? It is not the same as being there, but it might be helpful.  I can see that you really are needed where you are and I think you have made the right decision.
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Hi Desert,
i want to give you validation for making the right decision for yourself, sympathy for your loss, much hope for the future in all your endeavors, blessings for you and your family, and inner peace and contentment forever.
Continue to go forward secure in your own decision making and reasoning. Stand firm always. You have a good head and heart.
In faith,
Charlotte
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you, Char, I appreciate your support! Blessings to you 💖
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I am so sorry for your loss.

May God grant you and your family strength and grieving mercies during this hard time.

Is your husband holding up okay?
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you so much RR. Our faith is sustaining us, and we have lots of lovely, caring people in our church and the local community who are being wonderfully supportive, so that helps a lot too. Thank you for asking after my husband. Yes, he is holding up well, thank you.
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About his salvation, is there a clergy member that you could have go to talk w/him? The facility he is in should have one on board.

I'm so sorry that you are not able to go to see him. Could your step sister do face time w/you and him?

I will pray for you to have some peace.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thanks for your response, Nannybrister. Much has changed since my original post, but in response to your specific questions, no. ... and no. And thank you, I am at peace on the matter. Bless you.
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First of all dear DesertGirl53,

Yes, it is your dad.

Dont ever stop praying for him, and for you; not now, not when he leaves this earth, not afterwards. Do you know about Saint Monica, mother of Saint Augustine? She prayed, and prayed, and prayed, never ceased, and what did she get in return? Her son converted into one of the most valuable man consecrated to our Lord, I think he was called “ the child of many tears” the tears of his mother for years for his conversion, that were all returned to her and to him, as blessings.

So always pray for your dad, dont ever get discouraged. Have an strong faith!

Now, I completely understand what you describe about you being needed in your home, completely understand.
Yet, what do YOU need?
if you were to put aside your obligations, would you want to go see him? I think so.

Sometimes we tie ourselves up, thinking there is a no possible solution an that everything would completely fall apart without us. But most of the time, it is not so true, nothing really falls apart in a couple of days, and we all, every member of our family and society have our own needs that should not be ignored, specially important ones, like this need you have to see him.

If I were you I’d stop looking at all you have around you and your obligations, and make the decision of going and seeing him at least once, for a couple of days. Trust me, life will continue somehow. Look for resources, help sometimes is available and we don’t see it or don’t look for it.
Go see your dad,because like you said,
it is your dad

And don’t do it out of guilt, or fear that he will go any time, do it simply out of love. I am sure even if he doesn’t recognize you, it will be a great meaningful experience that will bring you peace.

May God bless you and give you the clarity and enlightenment you need!
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Dear Rosses, thank you for your response. The situation has changed; I cannot go, and yes, I am at peace about it.
I am a great believer in the power of prayer, and in the willingness and power of God to guide us according to His will. I am convinced that He impressed me with the conviction that I not go, and gave me peace in the matter, although many urged me strongly that I should go.
On Tuesday of last week my MIL, who was an important and integral member of our household, was killed in a car accident. We buried her today.
All I can say is, I am so glad I was here.
It is now even more impossible for me to leave. But my Dad remains, and will remain, as always, constantly in my prayers. And I am still at peace about it. God has power to reveal Himself to him, whether I am there or not. God does not need me to preach the good news of salvation to my Dad. He has heard it all before! What he needs is the Holy Spirit shed abroad in his heart, to cultivate that "measure of faith" that is given to ALL men, according to Scripture. I cannot be in two places at one time, but God can be everywhere! 😊💖🙏 He's got this!
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I am so sorry to hear about the auto accident! Sometimes it just seems like you can't catch a break. But perhaps it was meant for you to be home to deal with this, so your decision to not go see your dad was the right one. Again, I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself through all of this.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you, Hulacat! I am beyond grateful that I am HERE and not in another state at this time! I would be beside myself . . . Even in my sorrow over losing my MIL so unexpectedly, I am relieved to be here with my husband and children, to comfort and support each other. I am also SO grateful to all of you here for your support, encouragement and prayers, what a great community you are! I am so glad I found you! Hugs to you all!!!
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So sorry for the loss of your MIL. Sometimes it seems like it all comes at once.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you, Faranlee, indeed it does! 💖
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I'm sorry for my previous comment. I didn't mean to judge, just thought yourwere struggling with a decision, but you had already made it. You of course know the best thing for yourself and your dad. This is such a difficult time for you as you struggle with so many responsibilities and sorrows. Peace and love to you and your family.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you, and no worries! 😉
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It is normal to begin grieving prior to the person's death. I suggest you ask for some photos of your dad and his surroundings. If you cannot visit, you can at least see photos of his room, tne dining room during a meal, the living room etc. You could get photos of him engaged in activities. I have a great photo of a loved one who was in memory care. The photo is from an outing she went on. She's holding a pumpkin and has a huge grin on her face. I will pray for you. We cannot fully know the mind of God.
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I'm so sorry you are going through this, but I can totally relate. My mom is 3000 miles away from me and on her death bed. I was just out there to see her at Christmas, but unfortunately, just 3 days before my husband and I arrived, she took a bad fall and ended up in the hospital. That accident triggered her sudden significant decline in health, and she was put on hospice care about 10 days ago. As of last night, they said she is in significant pain and they were taking her off all meds, the feeding tube, etc. and just making her comfortable with 24/7 care. It will likely be just a matter of days before she passes. Unfortunately, I cannot get back out to see her as I have a big work event I am preparing for on Feb. 23 and there is no one that can take over my responsibilities and the event can't be postponed or changed because I'm not there. My brother assures me that she wouldn't even know I was there anyway, as he has been visiting her daily and it has been several days since she has even opened her eyes when he is there. I cried myself to sleep last night over the whole situation....I just keep thinking that if I had been there 3 days earlier, or if she just hadn't done what she did to cause the fall things would be so different. But now today, I realize, again, that I can't change the past and that "it is what it is." I WAS there to see her at Christmas. It didn't turn out to be the Christmas we had planned, but I was there. I told her I loved her every time we talked on the phone and every day that I saw her at Christmas. We had a good relationship. And, unfortunately, death is a part of life. We all know it is going to happen, we just don't know when. So I keep telling myself that this is just a part of life, and that the time mom and I had together was good. I'm sorry I can't be there, by her side right now, but she is being cared for and my brother is there. And she knows that I loved her. EVERYONE feels guilt or regret about things they did or didn't do with or for someone they loved. But no one is perfect! And those are such useless emotions! We can't possibly be everything for everyone and do everything right. We make choices on a daily basis and if we make those choices with good intentions and with honesty, even if they aren't the "best" choices, we have to give ourselves a break and know that we did our best. You and I have made a choice not to go visit our loved one because we have responsibilities that will have more adverse consequences if we DO go than if we don't. It sounds like you loved your dad very much and he knew it. Take peace in knowing that you are making the best choice, that your dad knows you love him, and that whatever the future holds for you both is unknown to everyone. Allow yourself to be sad, to grieve....but please don't feel guilt or regret. He knows you love him. That is all he needs. My prayers for you.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you, Hulacat, for this insightful, sympathetic and encouraging answer.

This morning my MIL, who has lived with us, was killed in an auto accident. This, of course, changes everything. I absolutely cannot leave now. As you indicated, we do the best we can, make the best coices we can and then live with them. I am at peace with my choices. Thank you so much.
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You seem to accept the fact that you can't get away to see your father. I urge you to change your mind. My father and I had a difficult relationship. When he and my mother divorced, I was 7. She did not allow me to see him again while I lived with her and my stepfather. The minute I moved out, I contacted my dad. We enjoyed a few years of being in touch before my husband and a couple of my stepsiblings again wrenched us apart. When my dad became ill, my sister-in-law (youngest stepbrother's wife), informed me that I might want to call or go see him as his illness was thought to be terminal. I called my dad's sister and we flew to Florida together. My stepmother was very kind and gracious, opening her home to us and we stayed for a few days, visiting Dad in the nursing facility. He had some lucid moments and we talked. His last words to me - and mine to him - were "I love you."

Now, a few years later, I am so grateful I went to see him. I had to leave my mildly autistic son, my 17 year old daughter, my demented mother, and my dog to get along with my sister and a neighbor looking in on them. They did just fine. I got the closure I needed and so did my dad. I cannot stress how important that is.

I'm not sure what my dad's religious beliefs were at the time he passed. He was raised Catholic during the 30s and 40s in a small parish where the priest's word was law. After his mother had a falling out with the priest, they transitioned to the Episcopal faith. Dad was a "wild child" and didn't spend as much time in church as he did making mischief. I know his heart was kind and he did good things for people all his life. I have no trouble believing he found a place in Heaven, that I will see him again someday and we can enjoy each other's company in a way others never allowed us to do.

Find a way. Go to your father and get some closure. You won't regret it.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Lablover64, thank you for your comments, I appreciate your input. However, I have no regrets concerning my relationship with my dad, nor with my decision. I'm glad you found peace with your dad.
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Hello, I think you have to be careful what you ask for sometimes, and then weed thru the answers with a thick skin...

I’m sorry to add to your burden but from what you’ve posted I hope that you have resources in line in case something should happen to you...

And, I want to encourage you to take extra special care of yourself. It does sound like your family depends heavily on you so it just won’t do for you to risk your health taking care of everybody else. Mental and physical health.

While you sound very calm about your situation I hope you are enjoying life as it is and happy to get up every day. I’m not being mean or facetious. I wish joy to everybody in their lives.

I feel for you in you’re grieving for your dad. As someone else said here be sure to do whatever you need so you won’t have any regrets when it’s too late.

Charlotte
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you Charlotte, you have a kind and generous spirit... I'm sorry not to say much more today, but my dear MIL was killed in a car accident today and I am not quite myself. Peace to you, my dear.
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Ask the folks at the home where he is to set up a Skype call between the two of you. It's a video call on the computer, and you can see each other. That would do so much for him and you, too.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thanks. Dad is not able to even talk on the phone at this point, but I will keep this in mind for a later date.
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I'll pray for you
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you, Mr Greek, that's very kind of you!
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Prayers to you! It must be hard not to go visit Dad. It sounds like you have a strong faith, that will help carry you through whatever your dads fate is. It would be nice to steal a visit though! I know how you feel. I haven't been on an vacay since 2015 hence moms caregiver. Its hard when you just need time, or break, or see the ocean!! Or all three in my case! I'm looking into different possibilities so I make it reality this summer. Anyhow, many can relate to how you feel and not being able to get away. Sounds like he knows you care and love him. Prayers and blessings!!
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thanks, Dianne, I appreciate it!
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I am so sorry you're going through this.  Rest assured that God is aware of every tear and He hears every prayer.  I am praying for you - and your Dad.  Rest in the arms of your Savior.  You are loved, precious one.  💙💙💙
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you! And yes, He does!
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desert-My apologies for having offended you. I will respond to your comment and then I will not post again on your thread. It is The Bible that is dear to my heart, I was not dictating what anyone should do. I was giving verses for people to discern themselves. My comment was in response to other comments as I thought this was a discussion. I am very sorry if I have bothered you.
In regards to your verses Matt. 3:15,Jesus was baptized., as an example to us. Luke 23:43- the thief on the cross, no one knows his past it could be that he was baptized under Johns baptism. Or it could be a case of the Lord having mercy on him. We truly do not know.
Again this will be my last post and I am truly sorry for having offended you. Again, I just thought this was a discussion. I wish you the best, I hope you get to see your Dad.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Smesh, Hon, you did not offend me! It's just that from what I have read here, I feel as if this is not the venue for an extended Bible study since not all the community is Christian and I don't want anyone to feel excluded from the conversation. I would, as indicated, be happy to continue the discussion, perhaps in private mode? 💖😊
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The word speaks for itself.
James 2:26, James 2:19, Matthew 28:18-20,Acts 2:38,Acts 22:16, Galatians 3:27, John 3:3-5, Romans 6:4


Of course babies that die are exempt. One must understand. And babies don't.
And only God is judge not us, but we can learn what He expects from us.
And the only exception is that He will have mercy upon whom He will have mercy on.
But I do not want to take that chance if I would be one He would have mercy on.
This is such a critical subject to have opinions on, one must view the facts and decide on there own. But we all get the same facts to base our decision on. It is just choosing to believe and receive it as truth, or dismiss it as fable. It's our choice.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Shmesque, I perceive that the subject of baptism is near and dear to your heart. Thank you for sharing with us, but this is not what my thread is about. I would direct your attention to Matt. 3:15 and Luke 23:43. Many will be in the kingdom, saved, who were not baptized, because Jesus fulfilled all righteousness for us. If you would like to continue this very interesting discussion, I will happily follow you to another site of your choosing.
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You think he’s not going to heaven? I wouldn’t be so sure that an infinitely merciful God would be so unforgiving. I’m a Christian and I believe we are saved by Jesus’s sacrifice no matter what. We are all beloved of God.

My dad passed 14 years before my mom. She was a Catholic, and believed in an afterlife. In her final year or two, she had dreams that dad had forgotten about her and wasn’t waiting for her anymore. I believe they are together now.

If you believe that your father believes wrongly, that doesn’t change the truth. People think what they think. They can’t help it. Faith is a gift, and not everyone receives it.
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How sad for your Dad. I think too many people have wrong ideas about God. You don't need to be baptised to go to heaven I always thought. You just need to ask the Lord into your heart and confess that you believe in him.

Babies obviously will go straight to heaven.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
I'm not concerned about him being baptized, someone else brought that up. I do wish he knew a loving God.
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Desertgirl, I will pray for your Dad.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thank you, Gershun. 💖
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So sorry you are going through this. All I can say is to try and understand how your dad is feeling. My uncle at the end stages of his cancer tried to slit his wrist in the hospital and was furious about the hospital staff saving his life.

Of course, you’re sad. If you want to see your dad though, go see him if it’s possible for you to have someone you know (family members) or hire help to look out for your family at home. Cook ahead or leave instructions as to what to cook and other tasks.

After my uncle’s suicide attempt,
the following morning I was at his bedside. I saw the bandage on his wrist but didn’t know that he attempted suicide the night before my visit.

The nurse came over to me. quite distraught and rudely said to me that my uncle gave them a lot of trouble by trying to kill himself. I was close to my uncle. He never married, no children and I was like a daughter to him (he was my dad’s brother).

I was so taken aback by what she said that I couldn’t even respond. I stood there in shock. My poor uncle was so embarrassed about her telling me what he had done. I simply picked up his hand, held it gently and told him that I loved him and I understood that he was tired of suffering.

I didn’t think any less of him. People don’t see it as leaving others behind when committing suicide. They are trying to escape what they feel as unbearable pain. They deserve compassion. I was so upset with that nurse who tried to shame him.

By the way. he grew up in a strict religious family and he chose not to follow any religion as an adult. Everyone in the family respected his decision. During hospital stays the chaplain would stop by and visit and my uncle did not develop a relationship with clergy.

He was a kind man. He had his flaws like all human beings but a good person who was close to family and his beloved dogs.

He donated his body to science. My family did do a memorial service but he didn’t say one way or another what to do. I think the service gave my parents closure. He had been sick for such a long time. He suffered greatly.

Personally, even as a Christian I would never even try to read the mind of God. Not everyone in this world is Christian. I respect people of any faith or no belief in anything. They have the right to believe or not believe.

There are many people in the world with various beliefs. Do we live moral lives? Are we kind to each other? There are people who don’t believe in any God or higher power but they are kind, moral individuals.

There are wonderful Christians and there are so called Christians who are awful human beings. I don’t think any of us have all of the answers. Bottom line, we are not the judge of others.

I’m not going to stress about if Buddhists or Hindus or any other non Christian person will be in ‘heaven’. They have their own beliefs.

I try to live by example rather than preaching. If someone wants to know something they will ask. Then an answer can be given as to how you feel about that particular topic.

Just accept your dad and love him for who he is. You may not know what is deep down in his heart or if he has ever felt judged or condemned by ‘well meaning or mean spirited’ Christians.

You don’t know every account of his life. He doesn’t have to tell all of his secrets or pain. May be too hard to express. That generation didn’t talk about things. I didn’t learn certain things about my father until he was an old man. Then the pieces of the puzzle all fit together. I let him speak first. I actually misunderstood my father when I was young, like many of us do with our parents.

I suspect my uncle had some deep past pain regarding religion because his upbringing was so rigid.

His family were good people but things were done differently back in the day. Bible scriptures were taken so seriously that my dad had to pick his own switch off of a tree to be beaten with, according to the ‘spare the rod’ belief.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thanks, NeedHelpWithMom. I really don't know what precipitated Dad's actions, but no, I don't stand in judgment of him. I've had my own battles with the demons of Suicide and their gangsta buddies, and have survived them only by the grace of a living, loving God. I know my Dad grew up with the harsh teachings of a wrathful, angry, vengeful God, and was not taught of a kind, loving, compassionate, tender, forgiving, accepting God, and as years went by his heart was hardened more and more against that angry God who would, he was told, send tiny babies to hell for the sin of dying before they could be baptized, for example. But when I tried to show him none of that was in the Bible he seemed to feel it must be, if certain churches taught it, and threw away the baby with the bath water, as the saying goes... he rejected all religion because some of it made no sense to him. He was, most of his life, a Seeker, in cynic's clothes. I truly don't know if he ever found the answers he sought, but it is my prayer that the Great Seeker of Lost Sheep will find him before he lies down to rise up no more, and gather him into His fold for all eternity, and that he finds peace at last in the answers he finds there.
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I just went back and re-read my OP. I see that I did express "anguish" over the fact that I could not get away to go see my Dad one last time, so I apologize for saying more recently that that is not the issue.
I hope you all can understand that I have been in a state of turmoil since I got the news about my Dad. For him to make an attempt on his life is just completely out of character with the man I have always known my Dad to be. The idea just shook me to the roots of my being.
The shock has faded somewhat, leaving me with a feeling of profound sadness. I wish I could go back and live my life over again, savoring every moment. I wouldn't do anything different. I'm grateful for every precious memory, and how many people can say that? Thank you all for your support.
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Teresa914 Feb 2019
I will pray for you, and your Dad too.
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The only reason I'm persisting is that you are feeling anguish over this. And
I don't think you have any doubt that, in an ideal world, your father would very much like to see you?

Visiting him would be a hefty logistics project but it's not as if we're talking about a major or lengthy or risky disruption to the family.

It's mainly in the planning. You organise each day's clothing, with labels, and the worst that can happen is you get back and find nobody's changed his t-shirt for five days. Cook and freeze casseroles ready for the microwave - less work than chopping an onion. Paper plates, if need be. Between them, they will manage.

Is your son at school? Does he have a support team or friends who could help out?

Nobody can afford to make herself indispensable. The time may, will come when you have no choice but to be unavailable. You too may fall ill or be injured - God forbid, but it does happen to families all the time.

Perhaps this could be a timely nudge to look around you and find out what support you might call on if you ever need to. Could you ask another family member to come and stay? Are you in touch with any support networks who might know of respite services?

Would it be completely out of the question to take your son with you?
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thanks again, Countrymouse. I don't think anguish is what I'm feeling. That is to say, I am not agonizing over whether I should go see my Dad. It's simply not an option, nor do I think either he nor I need me to do that. For one thing, I know one thing about my Dad: he absolutely would not want me hovering over him, holding his hand, weeping and watching him die. And I love and respect him enough to honor that desire. We have said our good-byes.
The "anguish" or sorrow I am feeling, I believe, is just the grieving process setting in. My mother (from whom I was estranged) passed away several years ago, and I have buried two siblings and a husband. It doesn't get any easier. The world is getting to be a lonelier place without some of these people in it.
So I guess I'm just having a little pity party over it.
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I thank you all for your responses. It's true there is a lot I did not share, and won't. Some have wondered why I think my family would not do okay in my absence, and one wondered why a perfectly capable 15-yo boy and adult man can't cope in my absence.
My boy is 12, not 15. He is ADHD and autistic. I have to remind him to brush his teeth and other simple chores. My husband is also, I suspect, a little autistic. He couldn't cook an egg if his life depended on it. My MIL is no longer as strong as she used to be and has to take a nap after chopping an onion. I just can't put the burden on her there would be if I left.
The truth is, my family here needs me, and my Dad really does not. He is being cared for. I miss him terribly. My sorrow comes from realizing that to all intents and purposes, he is already gone from me. I have no regrets in the sense that we have had a good relationship. He has always known that I love him, though he was not a man you could get really close to. He was not a warm, affectionate man with anyone. But I knew him to be a good an honorable man. I admired and respected him. He taught me how to fish and to always do my best. I will miss him.
I didn't come here for advice or blame but for support and encouragement. I know a lot of you are mourning the loss of parents and loved ones while they are still alive. It's a difficult, sad and painful journey. But if we encourage each other, hopefully we can get through it together.
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Penelope123 Feb 2019
You have stated it perfectly that your grieving for your Dad even though he is still here. We each have to answer one day for ourselves before God and I think you have that peace in your heart about your own life and wish that for your father. I know I am going through this with my 92 year old mother who refuses to even talk about God yet is fearful of death. You sound like a person with strong faith and He WILL get you through this, keep relying on Him. You know the needs of your family and how your home works. No need to let others tell you what to do that's for you to decide. Hugs and prayers for you and your family!
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What really keeps you from visiting your dad? It seems your household would be fine with perhaps some outside help or respite care for your mother-in-law. You mention that your dad would not know you were there. He would and even if he didn't remember 2 minutes later, it would help him. Why you Christians want to condemn non believers (we do believe, just not what you believe) to a lesser place after death is beyond me, but that isn't really my main point here. Please visit your dad.
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DesertGrl53 Feb 2019
Thanks for responding, ArtistDaughter. I have spoken to my step-sister. Dad has been moved, as I think I've said, and is out of the hospital. But if I were to visit and he knew I was there it would cause him great distress. I won't do that to him.
As for the other, nobody's condemning anybody, or at least I'm not. I see I have to tread lightly here because it's not a religious discussion forum, but I just want to say I do not believe my Dad (or anybody else) is going to burn in an everlasting fire because he has rejected God.
I realize this is very different from what most mainstream Christians believe. Is there a discussion forum for this sort of thing?
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I think you are underrating your family. I think they can man up to the task of life w/o you being there.

I feel you want to see dad one more time. That's absolutely normal. You can make this happen--maybe with some help from neighbors if you are a bit concerned about granny being left alone--but a 15 yo boy and his dad should be able and willing to make this last wish of yours come true.

And whether or not your dad is an atheist is not up for discussion. We all have our beliefs as to what happens after death. Personally, I believe everyone goes home to that God who created you. Really, how many BILLIONS of people have lived and died and have never HEARD of Christ, much less believed in or followed him? Rest easy on that, let go and let God.

You will feel calmer accepting dad's passing if you have had the final moments with him.

Bless you.
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Your son may not be able to prepare
meals but your husband can. I too am not understanding why you can’t go see your dad? Your husband can take care of the household for a few days. If you are worried about them eating, make meals ahead of time that only have to be warmed up.
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katiekat2009 Feb 2019
Agree. After all, she has been taking care of HIS mother all this time. He should make it easier for her to visit her dad. I think you will have more regrets if you don't go.
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Why can't hubby take vacation time for a few days. Like suggested, make meals ahead of time and freeze. Stock up the frig with stuff for breakfast and lunches.

Sending up a prayer.
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