I have been my fathers caregiver for the last 7 years. His dementia has been getting worse very rapidly. He has not been diagnosed yet with it but all of the doctors see it. We have an appt in a week and a half for a test for it. He exploded on me 3 weeks ago & now my sister has taken over everything & has him believing that I stole from him. It's a common thing with dementia where they start to believe & tell people that the caregiver is stealing from them. I don't know where to go from here.....She is about to have him sell his house which is to be left to me & change his life insurance beneficiary which is me & have him sign a new will.
Has anyone gone through this & do you have any advice that will help me please? He lives with his girlfriend who has all of her faculties but she is his little cheerleader & does what he says because she is afraid he will leave.

First I'd ask you how your relationship has been with your sister throughout your life. Does it sound like something she'd say or do? Do either of you have Power of Attorney for your dad? If not, I'd suggest seeking the advice of an Elder Law Attorney. You may need to go to court to have someone appointed by the court handle all of his financial affairs on his behalf. I'd seek legal assistance sooner rather than later.
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Reply to AginginPLaceLLC

CGALLIHER, sounds like it is time for your Dad to move to Assisted Living/Memory Care as it probably now takes a village to take care of him. These places cost between $4k to $7k per month. Sounds like your sister needs to sell his house in order to pay for Dad's care.

Now, is Dad telling you that his life insurance is being changed, and so is his Will? If so, remember he has dementia, and in Dad's mind he is thinking these things are true. Or did your sister tell you directly that the life insurance is being changed, along with the Will?

Curious, why hasn't your Dad's girlfriend been his caregiver?
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Reply to freqflyer

It seems like the problem here is with your sister.......she 'has him believing' you 'stole from him', right? Why would she put that idea into his mind to begin with? In an effort to make him sign his financial worth over to her? This doesn't seem to have anything to do with dementia, but with your sister's wrath or greed. The dementia, of course, might lead your dad to believe what your sister is telling him.

Here's the thing: if your father gets formally diagnosed with dementia, he cannot just change his will and his life insurance policy willy nilly. Because people can easily take advantage of a demented senior, as you are seeing, and that is why a person without his faculties isn't able to make changes to such legal documents.

I suggest you call an Elder Care attorney immediately, BEFORE dad goes for his dementia test, and explain to him or her what is going on. Get some legal advice which is your best bet moving forward

Wishing you the BEST of luck!!
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Reply to lealonnie1

I hope someone with experience answers you quickly. My heart breaks for you.
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Reply to HardSeason

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