I'm stuck between a hard place and dementia!! I finally figured out why Dad keeps wanting to move and why he keeps packing his things.
He's getting frustrated that the staff is really being so rigid with the oxygen requirements. Yes, his orders say that he has to have the cannula in his nose 24/7, but at his last facility, they would let him ride around on his scooter without it for a few minutes as long as he stayed seated on his scooter. He normally just rides around the halls for about 10 minutes and returns to his room.
At the new place, if anyone sees him without the portable tank, they send him back to his room to get it. It's not registering with Dad that he just needs to get his portable and he can come back out. He really thinks he's being punished and "sent to his room".
Of course, I've tried to explain to "put your box in the basket when you go in the hall" (translation: take your tank with you) to Dad, but it just doesn't compute. I've personally witnessed him get confused with the whole switching from the room unit to the portable, and he doesn't seem to understand that it Oxygen isn't working if the cannula isn't in his nose. Most days, he doesn't even understand what the portable is. He has called it a radio, air conditioning unit, the scooter, the whatchamacallit.... He really doesn't understand.
I know that they don't care for me at the ALF. I try to tactfully ask for things and be really nice, but I'm sure I get more eye rolls than anything because I'm so hands on.
I want to communicate to the staff that it's OK with me if they let him ride around for a few minutes without "the box" and Dad seems to fight back a lot less if someone just follows him back in the room and puts the cannula to the room unit in his nose without even mentioning it.
For the $975 monthly "oxygen" fee, I would hope that they could help out with this, but I find his portable unplugged / dead battery on nearly every visit. The log that they created to check it each shift goes unsigned... it's really frustrating, but I just do it myself now without saying anything because mentioning it doesn't generate results and makes me look like a total B****.
I've emailed and asked, but nothing. I don't know if they consider letting him ride around without the oxygen for a few minutes as breaking the rules or a liability...
...and I know that he needs a NH. I just haven't found one that meets my standards and I haven't figured out how to fund a private pay nicer Memory Care facility. Been on the waiting list for a Medical Foster Home with the VA for over a year now...