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I cook 3 meals a day. Give his showers. Wash clothes. Pay all his Bill's. Take him to Dr.'s. I do everything for him.
His dementia is getting worse. He gets around with his Walker. He uses the bathroom fine. No pull ups. Eats very good
Sleeps a little more. My sister has a problem with the amount of money I receive. He saw a lawyer and he drew up a contract and specified the amount. She's accusing me that with his dementia I set the amount.
Contract was drawn up almost 2 years ago. What do I do? She says $300.00 a month is plenty and I'm taking his money. She does not help me with any of his care and never offers.

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YOUR QUESTION MAKES ME ANGRY, so I have to reply.

Your dad is paying you TOO LITTLE. $1,000/month, that's $12,000/52 weeks, which translates to $231/week, which translates to $33/day.

How many hours a day do you spend helping dad including being ON-CALL meaning to passively watch him to make sure he's ok? Security guards do nothing but walking or standing around and they get paid. You do the same when you're sitting and keeping an eye on dad. Since you're getting $33/day, you should work NO MORE than 3 hours.

Your sister wants to pay you slavery wage. That's shameful. Tell her to go check out the rates from a few agencies. They charge at least $25/hours with a minimum of 4 hours/day.

Your profile says your dad is living in your home. He should also pay you rent, and part of utility expenses. Tell your idiotic sister to either shut up or she can take over his care by bringing him to her place for her to take care of him.
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Ignore your sister. She is clueless and worried about her inheritance.

You deserve to be paid for your care and you are completely protected since an attorney drew up the contract.

It is easier to find fault than offer a helping hand.
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jacobsonbob Jun 2020
...and your sister would be likely to get much less of an inheritance if your father had to go into a nursing home at this point!
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Tell your sister if she'd like to have dad live with her and get paid a pittance, she is welcome to do so.

I'm with Polar. You should be paid far more.
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$33 dollars a day is ridiculously cheap. Your sister is an idiot. You honestly should be paid much more, as you're well below minimum wage at the moment.
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Have you called care agencies to ask what they would charge for 24/7 care. Do it and prepare to be floored by the answer. I will give you a hint it is way,way more than what you are receiving. And I am sure sis thinks that you should pay rent and a share of household expenses. Ask the agency about that as well. Not a chance! Oh, he is living with you? He should pay you rent and a share of household expenses.

What a sweet sister you are. Not collecting or being paid a decent wage all so siblings receive a larger inheritance.

Check into the cost of memory care, too while you are at it. Sis would never take on this responsibility.

Is this really just full time, 40 hours, of care each week? I would think it is actually 166 hours.
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Well, if you quit, would you come take of my mom for 2K per month?
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I love the idea of thanking your sister for bringing it to your attention that your contract with your father needs updating!

Make an appointment with the attorney who drew up the original contract about a cost of living adjustment. Everything is more expensive - food, utilities, home maintenance. A cost of living adjustment is reasonable. An attorney will be able to determine whether or not your dad understands the contract and changes you want made to the contract and can sign a new contract. Attorneys must determine whether their client understands and is signing willingly.

In advance of the meeting with the attorney, prepare a budget for your father. Show the amount of expenses you incur monthly having your dad living in your home e.g. gas, food, services such as laundry, cleaning his room, driving him places, etc. Total it up and it probably amounts to a lot more than $1,000.

Remember that you do not need to explain yourself to your sister! Your dad's money, and what he does with it, is his business. That he lives with you now makes it your business as well in the event that you need in-home help for him or memory care at some point. I hope you have durable power of attorney both medical and financial. If not, inquire with the attorney.
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Why don't you tell your sister that you will gladly let her take over so she can receive the $1,000.00 a month? I bet THAT will shut her up!
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Let me chime in with the others -- you are not being paid enough! And what about the issue of the food and utilities he uses? Rent? Taxes? He should be paying his fair share for all of these things. And then add the caregiving on top of that.

Would SHE bill willing to have him live in HER home for not even $3/day, which is what she thinks you should get?

What a piece of work!
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Tell your sister to mind her business, she has no idea what good care costs. You are actually under paid. Go online or have your sister look up what fees are for a facility care giver or the one's that make home visits. You are a wonderful person for doing what you do.
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