My dad pays me $1000.00 a month for his full time care. Is he paying me too much?

YOUR QUESTION MAKES ME ANGRY, so I have to reply.

Your dad is paying you TOO LITTLE. $1,000/month, that's $12,000/52 weeks, which translates to $231/week, which translates to $33/day.

How many hours a day do you spend helping dad including being ON-CALL meaning to passively watch him to make sure he's ok? Security guards do nothing but walking or standing around and they get paid. You do the same when you're sitting and keeping an eye on dad. Since you're getting $33/day, you should work NO MORE than 3 hours.

Your sister wants to pay you slavery wage. That's shameful. Tell her to go check out the rates from a few agencies. They charge at least $25/hours with a minimum of 4 hours/day.

Your profile says your dad is living in your home. He should also pay you rent, and part of utility expenses. Tell your idiotic sister to either shut up or she can take over his care by bringing him to her place for her to take care of him.

Tell your sister if she'd like to have dad live with her and get paid a pittance, she is welcome to do so.

I'm with Polar. You should be paid far more.

Ignore your sister. She is clueless and worried about her inheritance.

You deserve to be paid for your care and you are completely protected since an attorney drew up the contract.

It is easier to find fault than offer a helping hand.

$33 dollars a day is ridiculously cheap. Your sister is an idiot. You honestly should be paid much more, as you're well below minimum wage at the moment.

Have you called care agencies to ask what they would charge for 24/7 care. Do it and prepare to be floored by the answer. I will give you a hint it is way,way more than what you are receiving. And I am sure sis thinks that you should pay rent and a share of household expenses. Ask the agency about that as well. Not a chance! Oh, he is living with you? He should pay you rent and a share of household expenses.

What a sweet sister you are. Not collecting or being paid a decent wage all so siblings receive a larger inheritance.

Check into the cost of memory care, too while you are at it. Sis would never take on this responsibility.

Is this really just full time, 40 hours, of care each week? I would think it is actually 166 hours.

Let me chime in with the others -- you are not being paid enough! And what about the issue of the food and utilities he uses? Rent? Taxes? He should be paying his fair share for all of these things. And then add the caregiving on top of that.

Would SHE bill willing to have him live in HER home for not even $3/day, which is what she thinks you should get?

What a piece of work!

I’m sorry tell her she is crazy. You are a live in on call caregiver. Price other facilities options and stand firm. Otherwise raise your rates to what they charge in the real world. Don’t not let her wear you down or go down in price. You are quite valuable and your Dad is lucky.

Why don't you tell your sister that you will gladly let her take over so she can receive the $1,000.00 a month? I bet THAT will shut her up!

Tell your sister to mind her business, she has no idea what good care costs. You are actually under paid. Go online or have your sister look up what fees are for a facility care giver or the one's that make home visits. You are a wonderful person for doing what you do.

Well, if you quit, would you come take of my mom for 2K per month?

Brenda, is dad able to sign a new contract?

You could always go get a new contract drawn up for the current care needs, inflation and added hours. That would increase your monthly pay.

Be sure and thank your sister for pointing out that your contract needed to be updated to reflect the current situation.

Oh yes, make sure that you have a roommate agreement with dad and that he is paying his way on top of paying for the care he receives.

Based on what you have said about your sister, I personally don't think that she would actually care for dad. She would happily take the money and let him go without care. I could be wrong, but I don't think so.

At 40 hrs a week even at $10 an hr (thats starting wages for CNA working in a facility where I live) thats $1600 before taxes. You are on call 24/7. So triple that. He lives with you, you are saving him lots more than $1000 a month. You are giving him a roof over his head and food. Tell sister in an AL it would cost him at least 5k depending on his needs. LTC would be at least 10k a month. Dad is getting away cheap.

I am a little confused, you do have a contract with him for the $1000 a month? You are paying taxes and deducting Social Security. If so, you are getting even less. Are you POA?

Call a few agencies in your area and describe what you are doing and ask how much it would cost to have someone come in and do exactly what you are doing. Minus the financial things. For that call a CPA and ask what they would charge per month to do bills. Add that to what the Agencies say they would charge.
Draw up a contract with the amount that is a median of the figures you have come up with. Include the estimates from the agencies and CPA that you have contacted for costs.
I feel that a contract for a caregiver should be able to be reviewed every 6 months and fees increased if the person has declined so that the caregiver is doing more work. If the person has not declined and the work remains the same then fees and hours would be the same. If there has been a significant decline then work will have increased and possibly the time will increase as well.

Personally at $300.00 a month most caregivers in my area cost between $15 and 20 per hour at $300 that would give you only 15 hours of work per month, are you working longer than that? CPA's can cost anywhere between $150 and 500 per hour lets take the $150 add that to the hours that you put in as a caregiver. Transporting him to doctor's visits and other trips IRS allows I think $0.18 per mile. Add that in if you are using your car. And since you are managing all the doctor visits and keeping track of that a Geriatric Care Manager makes between $100 and 150 per hour.
This is much like the old list that showed the value of a "non working" stay at home mom. Bottom line was that if someone had to pay a stay at home mom for all the things she does no one could afford them.
Same with a Caregiver, this is one of the reasons that caregivers are a VASTLY underrated support when it comes to the actual cost of caring for someone.

I love the idea of thanking your sister for bringing it to your attention that your contract with your father needs updating!

Make an appointment with the attorney who drew up the original contract about a cost of living adjustment. Everything is more expensive - food, utilities, home maintenance. A cost of living adjustment is reasonable. An attorney will be able to determine whether or not your dad understands the contract and changes you want made to the contract and can sign a new contract. Attorneys must determine whether their client understands and is signing willingly.

In advance of the meeting with the attorney, prepare a budget for your father. Show the amount of expenses you incur monthly having your dad living in your home e.g. gas, food, services such as laundry, cleaning his room, driving him places, etc. Total it up and it probably amounts to a lot more than $1,000.

Remember that you do not need to explain yourself to your sister! Your dad's money, and what he does with it, is his business. That he lives with you now makes it your business as well in the event that you need in-home help for him or memory care at some point. I hope you have durable power of attorney both medical and financial. If not, inquire with the attorney.

No. In fact, it isn't enough. It should be four times that.

Good grief--that's waaay below the poverty level.

When I worked Elder Care I made about $800 a month, part time!! I did not live in--just hourly work.

Yep, go get that contract revisited. Sis is up in the night.

I'm just weighing in to agree with everybody else!

Should the sister be invited to go along? If she is present, then she can see firsthand how the lawyer calculates the numbers on the new contract! If she refuses to go, then it makes an even stronger case that she can't complain later!

WHAT??! Maybe in 1975 that would have been a good salary for all of that work, but you deserve at least four times that amount per month for all that work. If your sister wants to look into how much full time care around the clock would cost in the house, tell her to put her seatbelt on and get ready for sticker shock. In the home care around the clock is $27 per hour, give or take a few dollars depending on where you live.

In FL my aunt pays $22 p/hr to Visiting Angels for companion care. That's if she is not a fall risk. The hourly rate goes up with increasing responsibilities, such as giving meds or providing medical care or overnight care. Even if the agency is paying their people $15 p/hr you are not being paid nearly enough. Please call some agencies, put them on speaker phone with your sister in the room and start asking them about their fees. See what she says then.

Oh my goodness $1000 is screaming deal for your father. Full-time in-home care for my mother cost $18,000. Now she is in a care home at $12,500 a month. Tell your sister to stuff it!

Even the Adult Foster Care Program pays better than that and those people also get additional Personal Care Hours and some attend Adult Day Health.

Wow! I am an adult child that has her own house to take care of. I moved in with my parents when my mom was alive almost 6 years ago to take care of my mom for about two months and would only go home on the weekends. After she passed my dad was able to take care of himself. Up until a year ago he went into the hospital with pneumonia and has some other health issues and can not stay by himself full time. I was working pt. at a school so this made it more convenient for me. He gave me some money about 9 months ago that he saved up. I now take care of paying his bills, doing dishes cooking for him, and many other things that it requires in running two households. I have some that I hired individually to come in on days when I'm not here to check on him and he gets meals on wheels. You are doing great. Yes it can be stressful and overwhelming. My brother died three years ago but he was never here to help out. My sister-in-law comes up once every year to every other year and stays not quite a week. I don't expect her to. I wouldn't change anything, because it costs way more to put into a memory unit and most nursing homes will not take them if they have memory problems unless they have a specific unit (Just my experience here). Keep you head up, try not to let your sister get you down. You are doing a wonderful thing.

I paid a caregiver to sit around playing on her phone $25 an HOUR while my mom slept 16 hours a day, so no, you aren't overpaid.

My mom's next-door neighbor is currently paying $20,000 a month for similar care.

Let your sister take over for the $300 a month! Revisit the conversation after a couple of months.

It sounds like you are enjoying your Job. Your Dad has you and your care. That is a big deal for him. You are not taking his money. If you ask him....he has lost that "value" in his mind. You are his last opportunity for him to spend his money on what he wants. If there is any left when he dies, your sister will just spend it on something foolish. I am telling you your "caregiving" is like Gold to him. If you have a "caregivers mentality"....when you do not have your Dad...you can name your price and a family who do not have a "caregiver" will be thankful to pay it to keep the person at home.

Have your sister do half of what you do and pay her $500 a month. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think $1000 is fair, and sounds like you are appreciated by him. I’m so tired of the siblings not helping then being critical of the one who is doing it all! I’m in that boat too, it makes us feel horrible to know we are being judged. I don’t have an answer for that. Good luck!

Where is OP? Wish she would come back and let us know how things are going.

I am wanting you to know that you should charge $2,000.00 per month.
I give any sibling to come in and do half of what you do, and they will get tired, want a break.

Thank you for doing what you do but please make sure to take care of you.

God Bless.

My dad pays $7000 a month in NJ for full time caregiver. You are not paid enough!!!