Follow
Share

I don’t have children by design and therefore don’t have a lot of people in my corner. I’m facing old age alone but would like to have more support.

Local community of faith - make sure to reach out to people younger than you. Consider becoming an "aunt or uncle" or a "grandparent" to children whose own families are small.

Volunteer locally - food bank, school, hospital, library... find someplace in town that you can interact with your neighbors and form friendships.

Club or hobby - check out local organizations for activities you enjoy. Develop relationships - and maybe share or improve your skills - in activities you enjoy with others who are like-minded.

If you prefer to be a loner, many of us are, then look at companies that have services for pay to check in on you regularly. Applewatch notes if you might have fallen. There are the "press a button" companies that will send help when you press the button on their device. Some companies have people who call you daily to check in. Of course, assisted living facilities, or senior apartments, can provide this service as well as others. The cost for ALFs generally is not covered by insurance. These are all at a price and will not be able to "notice" if you are having a heart attack or stroke (exception being ALFs).
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Taarna
Report

Good Afternoon,

Join your local Church. My Church helped me so much when mother first took sick. No matter where I moved with her we always formally "registered" at a Church. They will come weekly, some bring Communion, and sit and stay a while.

Most of my lifelong friends are from the Church. Job opportunities, social gatherings, trips, etc. have all evolved from my participation at Church. My life would be very different if I did not do this.

Pastor Rick Warren (A Purpose Driven Life) spoke on this topic, when you may find yourself alone because people die off, relocate or simply you end up the last one standing. You are not alone. Your Church is your family, he responded.

I am Catholic and live in the South. There are so many wonderful Churches here. I was swimming yesterday and another swimmer whom I recently met invited me to her Church. I am formally registered in my own denomination but I thought that was so beautiful.

You can even join the "Prayer Chain" at Church if you are not able to physically get there. Ask for weekly visitation. Make that phone call. You won't regret it.

Don't be afraid...
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Ireland
Report

There are many senior service organizations and often churches who have volunteers who make regular check-in calls to solo seniors. Check with churches and Shepherd's Centers, Alzheimer's Association, AARP, Elder Helpers, DOROT, some Hospital Social systems (like SSM in the midwest), and many others offer check-in calls with seniors who are alone. They may be wellness checks or just an opportunity for a regular social contact. If you got a start with one or more of those resources, they might lead you to more.
Also try some online senior programming of classes and discussion groups about issues with aging and aging alone. While these may not provide you with individual contacts, you can feel part of a "community" and discussion groups aften let you ask questions and get new ideas for the kinds ofcontacts you are looking for.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to RedVanAnnie
Report

What does having more people in your life look like for you? Many different approaches come to mind.
1. Intentional communities — whether continuum of care places with independent living, assisted living, and memory care, or group living situations where all pitch in based on abilities and needs. Both build in lots of support and socialization opportunities.
2. Dating sites, meetup.com, church or local gatherings to help make friends, and volunteer activities to find like - minded people in your area
3. Aging support options in your area. There are often ride support options, senior centers with low-cost daily lunch ($1.00 in my village) and activities, or groups that will call you once per day and / or visit you a couple of times per week to chat and see how you are doing. Meals on Wheels.
4. Your local library. Should have various groups like book clubs and support groups, tax prep, volunteer options, board games, resource lists.
5. YMCA. If you live near one, they have low rates for seniors and classes like stretching or swim aerobics or meditation that will get repeat customers. Some also have walking groups.

good luck and best wishes!
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Suzy23
Report

I'm part of a Care Team ministry in my church. We do check-ins and visits for our senior members and elderly parents of members. Ours is very organized and consistent. If we knew someone didn't have enough family or support, we'd figure out how to help them. You can see if any local churches have such a ministry.

My MIL recently passed away having been in a wonderful faith-based and affordable facility, on Medicaid. They had elder residents that they kept very close eyes on. Much different than many for-profit facilities. Consider finding any in your area (join Nextdoor.com to ask for recommendations).

Of utmost importance will be finding someone to be your PoA. This person must be a generation younger than you, willing, able, local and competent. Otherwise you may need to have it be someone from a law firm (not a solo-practice lawyer since they get sick and old, too). I have a Pre-need Guardian document in my paperwork, naming someone as a legal guardian in case I and my PoA arrangement goes haywire.

Consider a CCC (continuum of care community) where you move into IL now, then can easily graduate to increasing levels of care: AL, MC, LTC, hospice.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Do you have a friend. Maybe ask if you can text hervonce a day. Just to say I am still here, doing fine. That one day you don't do that she needs to call you. No answer, time for a well check. You make sure to tell her when ur going out of town.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Licensed Fiduciaries will help you when help is needed.
You are left actually where many WITH children are left, in hiring in help while you are safe on your own, and moving to in-facility care when it is needed. There your meals and transport to appointments, etc will be done through the facility.

You've lived a long life; it must be clear to you that you aren't alone in either having NO children, or in having children who live a world away. So it is a matter of saving hard to "insure" yourself into a place where you can afford to hire in help when help is needed. I personally don't know another way unless you are lucky enough to live somewhere where the "village model exists". I don't even know if that model is thriving anywhere as people tend to join such communities when their needs are too acute. When EVERYONE needs help and no one is well enough TO help, a village model can't thrive.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report
Fawnby May 7, 2025
Alva, I live in an over-55 community where some people move before they retire from working, participate in every kind of recreation under the sun, and make friends to age with. Thousands of people live in the community from even below age 55 (but must be spouse of someone 55 or over). Each neighborhood has a social recreation resident volunteer. Get-togethers at least once a month of the neighbors plus all-the-time clubs, dances, sports, hikes, field trips to attractions far and near by motor coach. If you're alone and want to go to Europe, go with our group! Many tours to foreign countries every year. Some people here are age 100+. You can participate in the fun stuff or not, but it's a model that works. Here many join early - not when they already have serious health issues - and stay until the end.
(3)
Report
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter