Husband was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia May 2015. He is now 85 years old and we continue to daily walk at least 2 miles a day up and down hills.
August of 2017, he failed the driving evaluation at the VA. He traded (with coersion and therapeutic lying) his driver's license for a state ID. When he realized this, he
"l o s t"
his car keys.
He then stated that he was going to shoot himself. For the first time in the 20+ years we have been together I became afraid.
I had been gone to Bible Study for about one hour. When I got home I noticed that the gun cabinet was open. Fear struck me. I called my daughter and her husband and they came and gathered up guns and ammo while my husband stomped and used curse words. When I told him that either my family take them or the police take them, he chose family.
The Sunday after Thanksgiving, in Church, he had a cardiac arrest. CPR, 911, 6 days in hospital now has Pacemaker.
3 weeks ago my oldest daughter died an unexplained and unwitnessed death. I am devastated.
That same evening, husband remembered his guns being gone, and shouted, stomped, swore and slammed doors for 2 hours until I completely broke down. Then he stopped.
He is losing autonomy bit by bit. His paranoia can be excruciatingly overwhelming to me.
He wants his guns. He wants to drive. He is an avid NASCAR fan and owns 2 Mustangs and a Ford pickup. His garage is lined with car show trophies.
And now I am needing respite. I want to be able to spend a day now and then with my 2 great granddaughters. I cannot play with them and also monitor my husband.
Respite has been offered to me. How do I DO this without the horrible backlash of paranoia that is bound to occur when he realizes that he is getting a "babysitter" for the day?